Cryptonews

Bitcoin, that mischievous scamp, is thumbing its nose at seasonality trends with a cheeky 8% gain, making this September its best since 2012. 🕺💸

Together, these signals show conviction, even as profit-taking risks remain high.

According to Bloomberg (you know, the place where all the serious money people hang out), LMAX’s exchange is already moving over $40 billion in daily volume across forex and digital assets. And it turns out, their customers want more. And by more, they mean *high-leverage access* to crypto markets. Because, who needs a calm, rational approach to investing when you can have *100x leverage*?

In a cheeky post on the interwebs, our very own CryptoQuant smarty-pants, Maartunn, chatted about this latest kerfuffle in the futures trading volume. The way I see it, futures volume here ain’t some secret agent business-it’s just the amount changing hands in futures-related trades on those fancy derivatives exchanges.

When questioned, in the grand hall of CNBC, on a Tuesday that bore the weight of fiscal storms, Eric, the co-founder of something called American Bitcoin and its clever strategist, proclaimed with an air of weary amusement, “My father is the first man who has not enriched himself from holding this most illustrious office. We are, after all, lifelong aficionados of capital-and not casual ones at that.”

Now, only the Bitwise ETHW ETF is posting any gains. It’s like being at a party where everyone’s having a blast, and there’s that one guy standing in the corner-just sad. And while Bitcoin’s out there looking suave and confident, Ethereum’s like the kid in school who keeps getting picked last for dodgeball. Who knew crypto could be so dramatic? 😒

Meet Ashita Mishra, TaskUs’s very own Judas with a smartphone. Starting December 2024, she snapped photos of Social Security numbers, bank details, and IDs like she was curating a gallery of financial ruin. Price per masterpiece? A cool $200. Buyers? Hackers with the charm of used-car salesmen and the ethics of a raccoon in a dumpster.

Funding Rate hit -0.0046% while exchange Netflows rose, which is financial jargon for “things might get interesting soon.” 🚀 Or not. Who knows?

Oh, Base, the swiftest and most economical of Coinbase’s offspring, once pointed at scornfully for leeching life from Ethereum’s veins, might soon sprout its very own token. A morsel of news popped up on a Monday, a teasing whisper from the cryptocurrency exchange’s corner. Check it out!

It’s like a bunch of folks with party hats waiting to dance, but suddenly they just decide to leave early. What gives, right? Well, let’s dig into this drama. 💥