Cryptonews

IG, ever the strategist, declares this “bolt-on deal” a masterstroke, complementing its organic forays into the UK and US markets. (Organic, you say? Like a free-range chicken in a factory farm? 🐔) The acquisition, they claim, is the culmination of an “extensive sector review”-a phrase so drearily corporate, it could only be redeemed by a well-placed eye roll. 🙄 Independent Reserve, hailed as one of Australia’s largest and fastest-growing regulated exchanges, shall now join the IG fold, presumably to add a dash of crypto-native panache to their otherwise staid portfolio. Adrian Przelozny, the exchange’s CEO, is no doubt toasting to his newfound corporate overlords, while IG’s Asia Pacific managing director, Matt Macklin, waxes poetic about the target’s “regulatory foundations and technology.” How thrilling! 📜💻

This operation, carried out by a crack team of investigators specializing in financial crime, cybercrime, and cryptocurrencies, marks the first time Canadian law enforcement has dismantled a crypto exchange. 🎉🤖 Or, as one officer put it, “We finally figured out how to right-click on the blockchain.”

His exit, a ballet of pragmatism, now dances awkwardly with his earlier prophecy of a 126x HYPE surge. A tale of two Arthurs: the visionary and the scalper, locked in a waltz of irony.

“The legacy economy is being sunset,” he proclaimed on the scroll of X (or whatever name the winds of change whisper today), as if the sun itself had grown tired of printing paper bills and now preferred to set in the glow of ones and zeroes.

By Shayan, our intrepid analyst who probably owns a monocle.

Let’s get this straight: the GOP’s crypto bill is being led by Tim Scott (R-S.C.), Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.), and their squad. The “Responsible Financial Innovation Act of 2025” dropped a draft in September that made everyone go “Hmm, okay…” One idea? A joint committee with SEC, CFTC, and 14 random industry folks. Because nothing says “responsibility” like letting 14 strangers into the room. 🤷♀️

Ah, Brazil-land of samba, sun, and now, severely inconvenienced crypto criminals. The government, in its infinite wisdom, has sharpened the legal knives against Bitcoin laundering, demanding that brokers and tech firms join the fun-whether they like it or not. 🎭

Let’s break it down, shall we? US customers are getting an extra 40% this round, bringing their total recovery to a cool 95%. 🇺🇸🤑 International folks under the dotcom entity? Another 6%, inching them up to 78%. 🌍 Meanwhile, general unsecured creditors and digital asset loan holders are getting 24% more, hitting nearly 85%. 📈 And the real MVPs? Convenience claims are getting 120% of their original claims. Because apparently, being small and speedy pays off. 🐇💨

According to the ever-reliable Busqueda, Tether’s payment defaults began in May 2025. By June, UTE’s president, the formidable Andrea Cabrera, penned a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) with Microfin, the local operator tied to this mining extravaganza. But, my dears, negotiations are only as good as the willingness to pay, and Tether seemed rather unwilling. After arrears piled up like unsold tickets to a Coward revival, UTE invoked its standard procedures, dipping into security deposits before pulling the plug on July 25. The mining sites in Flores and Florida? Left in the dark. Quite literally. 🌚💡

The grand crypto circus packed up another volatile week, all while the U.S. Federal Reserve tinkered with the interest rates like a wizard fumbling with a wonky spell. The market capitalization started off peeking just under $4.17 trillion, then flirted briefly with $4.2 trillion on September 19th before crashing back down to $4.12 trillion by the 20th. It’s that classic crypto mood swing: One minute you’re riding high like a caffeinated dragon, the next you’re wondering why you agreed to this madness at all.