Trump Coin: A Jester’s Wildcard?

But fear not, dear reader, for this is not the end of our tale. Oh no, for a bullish rotation from this zone could trigger a 200% rally toward $22.98, a veritable golden egg, if confirmed. The question, of course, is will it? Will the Trump Coin, that great shape-shifter, transform from a frog to a prince, or will it remain, well, a frog? 🐸

Trump Declares War on Interest Rates as Bitcoin Hits Lofty Heights! 🚀💰

Now, let’s not forget the glaring truth nestled within Trump’s high-decibel demands. You see, the US is shelling out a staggering $1.2 trillion in annual interest, which translates to a wallet-purging $3.3 billion a day! Can you imagine that amount juxtaposed with your own bank statement? One could buy a small island with that sort of cash, or at the very least, a lifetime supply of avocado toast. 🥑

WIF Just Went Berserk!

Despite some modest price shifts, the underlying metrics are screaming, “Hey, pay attention!” The total volume just exceeded $236 million over the past 24 hours, which is like, a lot of money 💸. This rise in trading activity could be the spark that sets off a larger directional move, if momentum aligns with technical confirmation, that is 🤞.

FLOKI’s Wild Ride: Webull Pay Listing Sparks Volatility and Laughter 🤣

The token’s volatile session was marked by a sharp 4% rally during the U.S. morning hours, followed by aggressive profit-taking as resistance formed near the $0.00009400 level. Trading volume spiked to 95.85 billion tokens at the height of the rally — more than 56% above FLOKI’s daily average — before declining steadily into the U.S. afternoon.

GMX’s Calamitous Collapse: A Most Unfortunate Hack

The particulars of this dastardly deed are shrouded in mystery, but the GMX team, in a display of benevolence, has offered the attackers a 10% bounty, provided they return 90% of the pilfered funds within a span of 48 hours ⏰. One cannot help but wonder if this gesture shall be met with the desired outcome.

US Senate Bill Targets Bukele’s Bitcoin Strategy With Massive Sanctions Plan

The bill, if passed, would invoke full economic blockade powers under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act—because why not? It would freeze the assets of thirteen Salvadoran officials, including Bukele, Vice President Félix Ulloa, and the president of the Central Reserve Bank. Visas, too, would be revoked. And just for good measure, the US directors at the World Bank and IMF would be compelled to vote against new loans to El Salvador, with direct US assistance also being cut off. A fair bit of “fun” for all involved, right?