Bitcoin: We’re Number… Um… 2?

This move has, of course, enraged the pro-Bitcoin crowd, led by Senator Cynthia Lummis, who’s been championing the cause of a strategic Bitcoin reserve. Because, you know, we can’t let China get ahead of us in the Bitcoin race 🏃‍♀️. I mean, who needs healthcare or education when we can have a bunch of digital coins?

Greene Veto: GENIUS Act Fails Over Missing CBDC Ban 🤦‍♂️

Leading the charge against the bill was none other than US Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, the self-proclaimed Chairwoman of the DOGE Committee. In a statement that could have been lifted straight from a stand-up comedy routine, Greene explained that her opposition was rooted in the bill’s glaring omission: a ban on Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs). “Americans don’t want a government-controlled digital dollar,” she declared, as if the government hadn’t already meddled in every other aspect of our lives. “Republicans have a duty to defend financial freedom and privacy by opposing CBDCs,” she added, with a straight face that would make a poker player blush. 🃏

PEPE Price Soars 30% as Retail Investors Make Ethereum Fabulous! 🎉💸

On this fine Wednesday, our dear little Pepe coin has decided to engage in a most audacious dance, elbowing its way to the top as investors casually flood into the Ethereum (ETH) ecosystem. Meanwhile, the grand old Bitcoin BTC is having a quiet moment at a rather stately $119,366 with a modest 24h volatility: of 2.1%. Not one to make a scene, really.

Market cap: a staggering $2.38 trillion—Oh, the weight of money!

Vol. 24h: $49.42 billion.

Trump’s WLFI Token: The Joke’s On Us?

But wait, there’s more! The WLFI token was designed to give holders the right to participate in the protocol’s governance and decision-making. Because, you know, voting is the cornerstone of democracy… or is it? 🤣

DEA, FBI Score Big with $10M Crypto Seizure from Sinaloa Cartel

💊🚔 This is an initiative within a much bigger initiative by U.S. law enforcement on a national level. The DEA and its partners have seized huge quantities of illicit drugs since January 2025. They have confiscated around 44 million fentanyl pills and 4,500 pounds of fentanyl powder. They have also removed almost 65,000 pounds of methamphetamine and more than 201,500 pounds of cocaine from the streets. These figures indicate the extent to which the drug problem is still prevalent in the United States.

$374 Million in ETH Moved in Mere Hours, What Are Whales Up To?

In the latest thrilling episode of “What Are The Whales Up To?”, Whale Alert has been doing some deep sea diving and spotted some MASSIVE Ethereum transfers. Over 117,678 ETH was moved in less than four hours. That’s about $374 MILLION. Yes, you read that right. If you’re sitting down, now’s a good time. 😱