Cryptonews

Seemingly straight out of a farce, Durov claims an encounter with French intelligence, engendered by a dodgy intermediary who sought to enlist his cooperation in muzzling dissenting Telegram channels within the biting context of the Moldovan elections. Durov’s investigation of these channels led to the inevitable: some were deemed naughty enough to be banished, while a charming promise of favorable whispers for his ongoing court troubles acted as a peculiar sweetener.

In the modern moral play, Adams tweeted from his gilded throne, declaring that financial struggles-those familiar foes-forced his hand. A lack of public funds, they said! Coupled with the fanciful whispers of bribery allegations that danced around his administration, though the federal gavel had already fallen on their dismissal, a delicious irony, indeed!

That also spells good news for the Maxi Doge ($MAXI) presale. With $2.6M+ already in the kitty, a strong Q4 could potentially see this exiting new project explode. 🚀

DeFiLlama’s data reveals Aster’s fees have been climbing faster than a squirrel on a ladder. Why? Because Changpeng Zhao, Binance’s wizard-in-residence, has been whispering spells of success into its ear. And let’s not forget the whales, those aquatic Wall Streets, splashing around with trading volumes that could flood a small country. 🐚📈

Yet, dear reader, let us not forget the week’s tragicomedy: investors, weary as travelers in a desert, gasped as the coin faltered, their hopes crumbling like stale breadcrumbs. Two liquidation spectacles unfolded-a $4 billion dirge for the bulls, a carnival of tears. 🎭

The markets, those fickle judges, now turn their gaze upon the pronouncements from across the Atlantic, scrutinizing American figures as if they hold the key to understanding the universe… or at least the future price of shiny metal. Such faith in numbers, truly.

This revelation, as shocking as it may be to those who still cling to their gold coins and paper bills, underscores a most remarkable global trend towards the integration of digital assets. The United States, Canada, and Turkey, too, have joined this fashionable movement, though they remain but bridesmaids to the bride.

Ah, Vanguard, the $10 trillion behemoth that has long regarded cryptocurrencies with the disdain of a nobleman sniffing at a peasant’s dinner. Yet, whispers now suggest this financial titan is contemplating allowing its brokerage clients access to third-party crypto ETFs. How the mighty waver! 🌪️

So, AI’s eating jobs like a buffet, traditional stocks are becoming as relevant as a flip phone, and Bitcoin’s supposed to be the digital age’s piggy bank? 🐖💰 Sure, Jan. Visser’s betting on it, but let’s see if BTC can keep up with the robots. 🤖

While BTC and ETH wallowed in self-pity at $110,000 and $4,000, XRP cheekily reclaimed $2.80 and even flirted with $2.83 intraday. “Look at me! I’m not a mega-cap loser!” it seemed to whisper to its crypto peers. The only thing more resilient than XRP’s price was my ex’s ability to ignore my texts.