Cryptonews

Meanwhile, the plucky little firm that’s all about insuring your Bitcoin, has just pulled off a corker of a funding round, raking in $82 million. 🧐 Yes, you heard that right-eighty-two million smackers! The chaps are exclusively focused on insurance products denominated in Bitcoin, which is about as trendy as spats at a society ball. This capital infusion is set to give the global economy a bit of a leg up, and jolly quick too. The firm’s got its eyes on becoming the world’s largest long-term insurer, which is no mean feat. This growth is a spiffing validation of Bitcoin’s growing acceptance in finance, what?

This whopping great figure has well and truly cemented Bitcoin ETFs as the bee’s knees for the bigwigs in the traditional financial sector. Launched earlier this year, they’ve gone from nought to hero faster than a wizard’s spell gone awry. 🧙‍♂️✨

The announcement landed on a Tuesday with the poise of a product launch and the vibe of someone finally admitting they own a second printer. The validator supposedly runs on DoubleZero’s fiber network, powering the beast and employing Jump Crypto’s Firedancer-a fancy, independent Solana validator client that sounds like it should come with a cape. 🦸‍♂️🤖

Oh, how quickly fortunes can change. Just recently, Bitcoin was having a glorious time, reaching new all-time highs in both U.S. dollars and Japanese yen, buoyed by the new Japanese prime minister, Takaichi Sanae’s *charming* bias for ultra-easy Abenomics. His policy was a ray of sunshine… at least for Bitcoin, until it wasn’t. It seems that the very thing that helped Bitcoin shine is now turning the spotlight off, thanks to a most inconvenient rise in bond yields.

October 8, 2025 06:02:36 UTC

As if predestined, alternative cryptocurrencies often waltz in infantile tandem with Bitcoin, only to marvel, with a small degree of jealousy, at the magnitude of the elder’s price swings.

So, what’s behind this sudden glow-up? Let’s spill the syrup. 🍁

A signal is sent forth from the ether as early warnings of potential selling pressure flicker on the horizon. All wise men reading these omens suspect the grand silhouettes may tire of holding, preferring instead the smoother experience of taking profuse profits.

Dogecoin dropped 8% on Tuesday, because why not? Whales unloaded at $0.27 (a price now forever cursed) before pivoting back in near $0.25. A billion-token liquidation wave? Sure, why not. Late-session prints showed “smart money” stepping back, which is just code for “someone’s spreadsheet finally worked.” 📊

At the hour of this scribbling, the precious beast trades nigh on $120,988, a trifling 3.38% tumble from its diurnal zenith. And lo, a 17% eruption in trading fervor propelled $77 billion across the ether, courtesy of CoinMarketCap’s inscrutable ledger. One can only imagine the jolly good show at the exchanges, what? 📈🤡