According to Reuters (because who else do we trust these days?), China’s State Council is prepping to review a roadmap later this month. A roadmap that includes-wait for it-a sovereign stablecoin. How very… predictable. The move seems to be their way of saying, “Hey, USDT and USDC, step aside. We’ve got blockchain tech too, and we’re not afraid to use it!” 💪
Qubic, that cheeky upstart, paraded its “51% takeover demo” on Aug. 12, claiming it had outsmarted the network with a “selfish mining” ploy. But who needs 51% when 33-40% and a dash of cunning will do? The blockchain, it seems, is just a chessboard for these modern-day Robin Hoods, redistributing rewards with a wink. 🎩✂️
Grab a coffee and settle in, dear reader, for a tale of how a decentralized derivatives exchange (DEX) is not just disrupting Wall Street’s efficiency metrics but doing so with a side of irony and a pinch of sarcasm. 🌟
With transactions as swift as a frog leaping through a swamp, Little Pepe promises to vanquish Ethereum’s congestion and gas fees, though one wonders if the developers have ever encountered a traffic jam in their own lives. 🚗💨
Imagine, if you will, Brazil sashaying onto the global stage as a Bitcoin reserve holder. On August 20, the Economic Development Committee shall prance into the spotlight to ponder the creation of a “strategic sovereign reserve of Bitcoin.” Oh, the drama! 🎉🤑
Now, let’s get a bit technical, shall we? XRP is currently testing a crucial support area at $2.90, which is a fancy way of saying it’s trying to hold on for dear life after a dramatic fall from grace at $3.50. Picture it like a contestant on a reality show trying to stay in the game while the other contestants are plotting their demise. The price is currently hovering just above the July ascending trendline, which is still intact-like that one friend who always shows up to brunch, no matter how many mimosas you’ve had. 🍾
SoFi’s partnership with Bitcoin infrastructure firm Lightspark promises to make sending money abroad faster than a Mel Brooks punchline. Instant, low-cost, and probably less confusing than my last movie plot. 🎬
The second-largest cryptocurrency is now up nearly 30% year-to-date, testing bitcoin’s (BTC) dominance in a way not seen since late last year. This time, however, ether is taking market share rather than ceding it, the report said. 🏆
The majority of this revenue comes from trading fees on their decentralized perpetuals exchange. Yes, it’s that simple. According to DefiLlama, they’ve racked up a whopping $610M in cumulative fees (that’s since the protocol launched), and nearly 97% of that is pure protocol revenue. Cha-ching!
But why, you ask, would such a solemn institution as the Federal Reserve, led by the ever-so-proper Chair Michelle Bowman, want to cozy up to the wild and woolly world of cryptocurrencies? Well, my dear reader, it seems that the Fed has had an epiphany. They’ve realized that if they don’t join the crypto dance, they might just find themselves twirling alone in the corner while everyone else is having the time of their lives in the digital playground. 🕺💃