Cryptonews

Could mean investors are lining up for another romp through the financial playground, even if the swing set is made of chalk and the slide occasionally squeaks.

Ethereum, bless its heart, is one of the most tragic performers today, losing nearly 6% of its value. It’s like watching your favorite reality TV star go from a sparkling diamond to a broken bottle. ETH has now dipped below $4,100, and it’s headed straight for $4,000-let’s throw a little party when that happens. 🎉 According to CoinGecko, its weekly losses are a delightful 10.6%. But hey, who’s counting, right?

Friday was basically a horror movie for crypto markets, thanks to U.S.-China trade tensions. Trump’s tariff threats were the jump scare no one saw coming. 🎃

If Coinbase wins, it’s basically a power move in the stablecoin game, solidifying their grip on the crypto world. 💪

My dear, it seems a subsidiary of Dominari Holdings (DOMH), that investment firm with ties to the Trump boys (yes, the ones with the golden lifts), is teaming up with the Bitcoin programmability project Hemi. All to advance their digital asset treasury and exchange-traded fund (ETF) plans. How ambitious! 🏙️💰

The victim’s wallet, known in the underworld of ledgers as 0x0cdC, was drained of 17.75 million DAI and 3.11 million MSYRUPUSDP tokens. The audacious culprit bridged the spoils to Ethereum, where they currently lurk under the watchful glare of watchers who resemble overcaffeinated hawks. 🦅💸

Bullish sentiment? More like bullish *sent away*! With selloffs climbing faster than a cat up a curtain, technical indicators are screaming, “Three-month low, here we come!” 📉🎢

By brewing their own stablecoin potion, of course! MiCA-compliant and ready to outshine the dollar. 🧙♂️

Prestige Wealth (PWM) says it has clambered closed a $150 million financing round to launch a digital-asset treasury focused on the glittering, gold-backed tokens of Tether-the shiny dragons in the ledger. 🪙🗃️

Now, according to JACKIS-who’s apparently a chart wizard-a special kind of magic happened with BNB. They call it the “three tap into parabola breakout.” Doesn’t it just roll off the tongue? It turns out, BNB didn’t just randomly burst through the roof. Nope, it had a little pre-party first. It tapped its all-time highs three times before deciding to go big or go home. And guess what? XRP’s been doing the same thing for the past year. Three taps. If it’s a trend, folks, we might be looking at a repeat performance. If XRP follows the BNB playbook, we could see it shoot up, just like BNB did, to break $1,300. 🎯