Since the great liquidation of last weekend-a calamity so severe it would make even a Soviet grain planner weep-BitMine has quietly amassed 379,271 Ether. That’s nearly $1.5 billion in ethereal promises (😭), acquired in three neat little installments as if buying potatoes at a collective farm: 202,037 after the crash, 104,336 on Thursday (perhaps during tea break), and 72,898 on Saturday-because, why not? Sunday was already ruined by reality.
Asia, the land of spicy noodles and even spicier crypto moves, has some Ethereum fanatics who just can’t keep their wallets closed. They’re building a 1 billion ETH treasury company. Because, you know, why not? 🍜💰
Our dear John, with his Bollinger Bands (yes, the ones he invented, do keep up!), has spotted what he calls “potential ‘W’ bottoms” on ETH and SOL. Bitcoin, however, remains the wallflower at this ball, still forming its base. How très ennuyeux! 😴
Now, if you think Ripple is just starting its crypto journey, think again. The company already holds a *massive* 4.5 billion XRP tokens. And wait-there’s more! Another 37 billion tokens are locked in escrow, doing nothing but waiting for their big moment. Talk about a digital hoard.
While accumulation whispers of bullishness, derivatives data sputters like a drunkard’s soliloquy-mixed signals, my dear reader! Resistance looms at $0.4740, a dragon guarding ENA’s golden hoard. Will our hero slay it, or be roasted? 🔥
Well now, look at this-BNB, the native token of the BNB Chain, has risen more than 3% in the past 24 hours. Who would’ve thought? Here we have a little old token, making some waves in the ocean of cryptocurrencies. With institutional momentum and some savvy selling mixed in, it made its way up just in time for the weekend.
Americans, brave and bold, decided to part ways with their Bitcoin holdings faster than you can say “cryptocurrency crash.” As the crypto Fear and Greed Index slumped into the abyss of fear-where only the brave or truly foolish tread-liquidations surged forth like a broken dam. 💧
Retail investors are basically charging in like they’re at a Black Friday sale, buying up Bitcoin like there’s no tomorrow. Meanwhile, institutions are running the other way, selling off their crypto stash. A perfect recipe for a potential short-term rally-if retail can hold onto their wallets. 😬
On raconte, avec un air d’audace, que nos amis anglo-saxons cherchent à copier les règles américaines – comme un jeune apprenti voulant devenir maître sans comprendre la leçon! Tout cela pour savoir quels trésors peuvent soutenir ces fameux stablecoins- sans quoi, la confusion, comme un vaudeville désordonné, se répand tout autour. Ah! Quelles délicieuses subtilités! 🎭
Last week, as the market convulsed like a drunkard at a symphony, Solana stumbled beneath the $180 support line-a line that once seemed as sturdy as the Kremlin wall. Analysts, those modern-day soothsayers, now whisper of a 75% nosedive, a fate as inevitable as the fall of the Berlin Wall. “A 5-wave Impulse to the upside,” they sigh, as if mourning the death of optimism. January’s “$TRUMP coin blow-off top” (a phrase that makes one chuckle) is now a relic of a bygone era, when dreams were made of dollars and not despair.
