Cryptonews

Why Aptos, you ask? Well, it’s faster, it scales, and the rent is probably way cheaper. Aave’s out here giving lending and borrowing services to new faces-maybe they’re sick of Ethereum’s gas fees, maybe they just want a fresh start! Either way, DeFi’s expanding so fast, even Mel Brooks couldn’t keep up, and he’s still running from Spaceballs. So what does this all mean? Aave’s going for total DeFi domination, one blockchain at a time. Next stop, the moon-or at the very least, Matzoh ball soup-powered smart contracts. 🚀🥣

Now, hold onto your hats, folks, because a contrarian signal’s flashing brighter than a firefly convention. Could this be the buying opportunity of a lifetime in the wild west of derivatives? 🤠

According to CoinGlass data, Dogecoin long traders, in the last one hour, recorded a tempest of liquidations, a 343,069% imbalance against short trades. Notably, the long position lost $148,880 within 60 minutes as the price shifted, a spectacle as thrilling as watching a toddler attempt to balance a teacup. 🧸

The CoinDesk 20 is currently sitting at a respectable 4005.12, down 1.4% (-55.83) since the clock struck 4 p.m. ET on Wednesday. Oof, that’s gotta sting! 😬

Per the SEC’s gilded scrolls, their hoard now gleams at $46.15 billion. The recent 430 BTC? A mere trinket, purchased with $19.3 million from STRK, $19 million from STRF, and $12.1 million from STRD-each penny a drop in the ocean of their hubris. Michael Saylor, that modern-day Midas, hinted at further buys with a cryptic “Not enough orange” post-a riddle for the ages. 🍊

Stablecoin platform M0 and Stripe’s Bridge-a duo as unlikely as a penguin in a tuxedo-have partnered to help businesses launch custom digital dollars. First up: MetaMask’s mUSD. Why? Because nothing says “trust us” like letting a wallet company issue its own currency. 🤷♂️

If the board finally stops hyperventilating long enough to sign things, they’ll swagger past Buyaa MacroBoring International and become Hong Kong’s undisputed king-of-the-crypto-castle. 🏰 Their official line: “We believe the Bitcoin market is highly liquid and…” yada yada look, we’ve all Tinder-matched ‘highly liquid’ at 2 a.m.; swipe left on Mr Red-Flag, people.

On the surface, the on-chain whispers tell of a colossus building force. Once withdrawing 14,837 BTC-a sum that would make even kings envious-now he redeploys his chips. Not merely moving coins, but also opening gargantuan long positions, risking $295 million across four wallets, riding leverage between 3x and 10x-like a tightrope walker teetering over abyssal depths. The conviction? As deep as the strange silence before a storm.

In a delightful twist of fate, Gemini has garnered the coveted nod from the Malta Financial Services Authority (MFSA), a regulatory body that, one might say, has the charm of a stern librarian but the authority of a headmaster. This license, dear reader, is not merely a piece of paper; it is a golden ticket allowing the exchange to waltz through the crypto corridors of over 30 European nations with the grace of a gazelle on roller skates.

He announced, via his favored platform (X, naturally. Where else?), that BitChat is getting “location chat.” Because apparently, knowing someone is nearby isn’t creepy enough. Now you can “teleport” into chats with them. Which is a very generous way of saying it uses geohashes – look it up, I’m not explaining it. 🗺️ Honestly, it sounds like he’s trying to recreate the plot of a really niche sci-fi film.