Will Hyperliquid HYPE Survive the Bitcoin Rollercoaster? 🤔💰

Yet, dear reader, we mustn’t put on our party hats just yet, for lurking in the shadows are the ominous clouds of potential reversal, swirling about like a menacing fog. As the broader market twirls gracefully with its whims, the fate of HYPE now hangs delicately upon the gallant shoulders of Bitcoin. Will it soar or plummet? Ah, the suspense! 🎢

Whale-nado: Shiba Inu’s Fate in the Hands of 46 Whales!

Technically, SHIB has been unable to break out of a multi-month downward trend, continually falling short of breaking above its 200-day moving average, which is currently at around $0.0000145. SHIB returned below $0.0000135 after a brief price surge through this important resistance last week that was swiftly rejected. This rejection highlights the amount of overhead supply that is still available as sellers are still keen to profit from any attempts at a rally.

Don’t Miss Out! PUMP Tokens Launch After a Whirlwind $600M Sale – Trading Mayhem Awaits!

Now that the dust has settled and wallets are brimming with PUMP tokens, the question on everyone’s mind is: when can we start trading this delightful digital currency? Well, once the distribution phase is over (which should take around 48-72 hours), those lovely tokens will miraculously transform from locked treasures into freely tradable wonders on exchanges galore. Kraken, always the punctual one, has hinted that trading might commence by July 15-16, 2025. Mark your calendars, folks; a fun date with financial fate awaits! 🚀

Linqto’s Bankruptcy: A Nightmare for Investors! 😱

A cascade of structural failures in Linqto’s investment model now threatens to leave thousands of users with little recourse as bankruptcy proceedings unfold, putting them at the back of the payout line. Distressed asset expert Thomas Braziel shared on social media platform X on July 12 that Linqto’s Chapter 11 filing contains alarming details about how customer investments were handled. Braziel underscored the urgency of the situation, explaining “why customers should be VERY concerned.”

Can You Believe This? DIY Memecoin Platform Just Raked in $600 Million in 12 Minutes!

Meet Pump.fun—a place where you too can become a memecoin millionaire (or at least *try* to pretend you are). In a jaw-dropping spectacle, this Solana-based platform raised $600 million in just 12 minutes during a token sale. Yes, you read that right. 12 MINUTES! Let that sink in while you sip your lukewarm coffee. According to Bloomberg, they’ve hit a total of $1.32 billion, which is a number that makes my head spin faster than my latest Tinder date’s excuses. 🥴

Bank Employee’s Grand Theft: $477,000 Vanishes in a Blink! 🏦💰

The Justice Department, in a narrative that could rival the most dramatic of novels, recounts how in the months of July and August 2024, Damani Brown, a man once trusted with the keys to financial security, allegedly used his credentials to access the accounts of 12 customers and siphoned off a staggering $477,000. 🤑