Cryptonews

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My dears, a sophisticated Chinese lady has been convicted in dear old Britain for her starring role in a fraudulent digital currency caper that fleeced more than 61,000 bitcoin (BTC) from a staggering 128,000 victims. Zhimin Qian, 47, cunningly pleaded guilty under the Proceeds of Crime Act to acquiring and possessing the filthy lucre, all while sporting aliases like a proper stage performer.

Starknet hath, with due ceremony and a most punctual flourish, proclaimed Bitcoin staking together with a 100 million STRK fund to furnish the BTCFi circle. The endeavour presents Bitcoin staking as the first trustless method by which BTC may be staked upon a Layer 2 stage, while the owner continues to hold his own purse. Rewards may accrue, and the security of the network be thereby enhanced, all without surrendering custody. A novel mode of propriety, if you will, and quite the talk of the town. 💁‍♂️😉

Apparently, these firms were playing fast and loose with their stock prices, darling, with trading volumes soaring like a debutante’s hemline at a cocktail party. All just before their grand crypto announcements. How… inconvenient. 🥂

One hears whispers that the Turkish government is bestowing upon its dandy financial crime-fighting troupe, the Financial Crimes Investigation Board (MASAK), the divine right to freeze or, heaven forfend, restrict access to both stodgy bank accounts and those jolly digital bazookas known as cryptocurrencies. These rather expansive trinkets, ostensibly to curb money laundering and other naughty deeds, shall be presented to parliament in a bill, as per a rather gossipy Bloomberg scoop. How utterly cosmopolitan of them! 😏

Trading at $0.41 with a 24-hour drop of -2.5%? Girl, that’s not a dip, that’s a faceplant. 🍑💥 The daily chart looks like a rollercoaster designed by a toddler-spikes to $0.42, then a nosedive back to $0.40. Market cap? $2.23 billion. Trading volume? $187 million. Basically, you’re the B-list celeb of crypto right now. 🍿

CEO Vlad Tenev, the man who once bet on a llama to win the Kentucky Derby, claims users have traded 4 billion event contracts. That’s 4,000,000,000 reasons to question their life choices. And yes, they’re talking to the UK’s Financial Conduct Authority. Good luck explaining “event contracts” to someone who still thinks the euro is a cheese.

Right now, Chainlink is hanging around $21.28. Not bad, right? But don’t get too comfy-it’s teetering on a razor-thin line at $20. Ali, the analyst with all the secrets, says that defending this zone is *crucial* if Chainlink wants to stay bullish. So, yeah, if the $20 line holds, we might see some good things. If not? Well, hello, lower levels. 👀

In this bull market circus, where every chain’s juggling for attention, Solana’s pulling off tricks that’d make Houdini blush. Enter our two titans: Crypto.com and Sharps Technology, a digital asset treasury maestro. Together, they’ve announced a union that’s less “love at first sight” and more “let’s count the zeros in our bank accounts.” Sharps, with its 2 million SOL stashed like a squirrel hoarding acorns, now plans to marry traditional finance to Solana’s ecosystem. “Partnering with Crypto.com,” says James Zhang, “gives us tools sharper than a banker’s tie to manage our treasure trove-which’d make Scrooge McDuck do a backflip.”

After a painfully awkward week filled with redemptions faster than you can say “blockchain buzzkill,” Bitcoin and Ether ETFs suddenly remembered how to be fun on Monday, Sept. 29, welcoming back more than $1 billion in inflows like it’s an open bar. This surprise rally is basically the crypto equivalent of your favorite sitcom character returning from a mysterious season hiatus-strong, dramatic, but still weirdly expected.