Bloomberg reports that they’re aiming to raise “significantly more than $30 billion,” with a target valuation that might just crack the trillion-dollar mark-probably before breakfast. And they want to do all this by mid to late 2026, because why not?
This valorous firm, with its history of managing a motley assortment of crypto exchange-traded products across the globe, first dared to whisper its intentions to the mighty SEC back in the distant November of yore, submitting its S-1-an elegant dance of paperwork, amendments, and wishful thinking. Like a nervous debutant, 21Shares kept submitting, polishing their bowtie of filings, hoping to impress the stern-eyed regulators with their finery.
“In six short months,” he mused, “these gilded ghouls have slithered into my parlor, seeking to mint their own Bitcoin alchemy. What folly! What hubris!”
This sudden pullback went against what the retail folks were shouting from the rooftops-“More rally, more rally!” based on social media chatter, no less. Meanwhile, Bitcoin ETFs were busy inflowing a cool $151.9 million-like pigs at a trough-showing the confidence remains, mostly in an echo chamber.
The claims quickly spread across social media. In response, Crypto and AI researcher Dr Altcoin stepped in, saying the lawsuit is based on wrong price data and weak claims. 🤯
With a meticulous precision akin to a lepidopterist cataloging rare specimens, Schwartz enumerated six perilous pitfalls that investors, blinded by the allure of quick gains, often neglect to consider. 🐝
In a social media teaser that screams “click me now,” developers promised early birds a shot at $1 million in TRUMP Coin. The game? Think Monopoly meets The Apprentice, where you hoard assets, upgrade your empire, and flaunt Trump-themed trinkets. Because nothing says “I’m winning” like a digital gold toilet. 🚽✨
Why, you ask? Well, it seems the big fish-or should we say, the whales-have taken a fancy to it. 🌊💰 Renewed support from these deep-pocketed chaps has sent speculation into overdrive, faster than a dwarf with a grudge.
On a frosty December 9, 2025, in Geneva (because of course it was), Syz Bank and Taurus revealed a partnership so deep, even the snow on the Alps looked envious. They’re now trading in custody, tokenization, and blockchain connectivity-basically the holy trinity of crypto coolness. If your grandma asked what that means, just say, “It’s like banking, but with more emojis.” 🧊✨
Brevis, the clever sort, figures out the heavy lifting off-chain and then waves its magic wand-zero-knowledge proofs-to verify the deeds right on the chain. All this while slashing costs faster than a fox in a henhouse and keeping everything so trustless even a saint would trust ’em. Trust me, it’s safer than Aunt Sally’s jam, and more private than a cat burglar in the night-hiding your positions and P&L better than a secret recipe.
