Grab your coffee (or something stronger, if you’re feeling adventurous) because Tether is about to shake things up! ☕️💥 They’re bringing USDT directly onto Bitcoin wallets through the RGB protocol. Yes, you heard that right! It’s not just another network; it’s a hint that Bitcoin (BTC) might just be ready to step out of the “store of value” shadow and into the spotlight. 🌟
The Clearing Company, that enigmatic phoenix, declared on Wednesday its intent to craft a prediction market, not of shadows and loopholes, but of blockchain’s bright, unyielding light, where compliance dances with accessibility, and regulators sip tea with retail traders. 🕊️⚖️
But, fear not, for the so-called “experts” (who must have been born with a crystal ball) are teeming with optimism. A new all-time high has been reached, and now they’re projecting a near-term target of $1000. Longer-term? A casual stroll to $12,000, of course. Because why not aim for the stars when you’re already halfway to the moon? 🚀
The usual suspects grace our list with ludicrously large vaults. Leading the parade: Sharps Technology, clutching 2.14 million SOL as if attending a jewel heist at Buckingham Palace-value, an eye-watering $444.6 million. As for Upexi, just behind, with 2 million SOL ($415.5 million); a mere rounding error in this world of excess, one suspects.
After a rally that took it from “sub-$3K, who dis?” to “$4,580, yes queen,” ETH is chilling like a villain. Unlike those other altcoins that took a nosedive, Ethereum’s like, “I’m above my 20-day EMA, $4,290, and I’m not sweating it.” 💁♀️ This isn’t just tenacity-it’s a whole mood.
Cronos (CRO) decided it wasn’t going to be the “little token that couldn’t” anymore. Nope! This underdog rallied harder than Rocky Balboa after a pep talk from Mickey. Up 138% weekly and 55% daily, CRO soared to $0.36, its highest level since dinosaurs roamed the Earth-or at least since 2022.
Remarkably, this digital gold rush will take form via a merger-an all-stock affair with Gryphon Digital Mining, a company presumably humming along with AI and mining infrastructure, which sounds impressively futuristic until you realize it’s probably just a fancy way to say “big machines and clever code.” Hut 8, the investor with what appears to be more faith than financial sense, cheerfully confirms this dance of corporate dominoes.
Markus basically said, “Hey, this debate is driving me nuts.” He thinks switching to PoS would just split the community and create a bunch of different Dogecoins. Like we need more of those, right? 😂
Dismissing yuan-backed stablecoins with a flourish, Zhou warns of potential scandals, echoes of speculative whispers, and unsettling volatility-oh, the dread! These risks, he claims, threaten to disrupt Beijing’s meticulously maintained capital controls.
The proposal, known formally as SIMD-0326 (a name only a bureaucrat could love), is now live for validator votes. Early signs suggest over 10% are already signaling support. But let’s not pop the champagne just yet; to pass, this digital plebiscite requires at least 33% quorum and a two-thirds majority. Validators, those modern-day electors, must choose wisely-or risk being roasted in Twitter threads for eternity. 🔥