On a Friday as sullen as a Russian clerk in August, Tether’s reign slipped to 59.45%. DeFiLlama, presumably named after an animal with a penchant for spreadsheets, confirmed it. Not since March 2023! Tether’s grip loosens, and rumors flutter through the village-“Have you heard? The pie is shrinking!” Even Babushka is concerned, and she trusted stablecoins less than her neighbor’s beet soup.
À l’ouverture de Wall Street, le noble Bitcoin se jette sur le marché tel un mouton égaré, descendant hardiment vers les bas fonds de cent huit mille écus.
The mood among investors? Pessimistic at best. It’s like watching a group of people trying to sell a sinking ship, with no one willing to buy the life jackets. Selling pressure is suffocating the poor altcoin, preventing it from even thinking about recovering any previous support levels.
The Sandbox and Animoca stood together on the digital stage and declared they are
Ethereum, my dear, is currently sashaying around $4,330, while the order book heatmap reveals a veritable soiree of buy orders between $3,800 and $4,200. Quite the safety net, wouldn’t you say? 🕸️
The project, with its $900,000 fundraising mirage, teases us like a carrot on a stick. “Soon,” it whispers, as the clock ticks and the community waits, hands outstretched, for the crumbs of financial glory. But alas, the markets, those fickle harlequins, have slowed the pace. Bitcoin tumbles, Ethereum slips-and HINU’s supporters are left humming a tune of patience. 🎭⏳
For those of you who think “hashrate” sounds like something you’d order at a dodgy diner, let me explain: it’s the amount of processing power thrown at the Bitcoin network through mining. Think of it as the collective brainpower of a million gnomes hammering away at their computers. And why does it matter? Well, it’s like the moat around Bitcoin’s castle-the bigger the hashrate, the harder it is for the dragons of insecurity to get in. 🐉⚔️
But wait, there’s more! Their total assets under management (AUM) jumped 26% to $3.46 billion, despite a cheeky $126 million slipping out the door in XBT. Apparently, Bitcoin and Ethereum decided to flex their muscles, rising 29% and 37% respectively. Take that, inflation! 📈
So, what’s the big deal? IREN (because acronyms are fun) just reported a fourth-quarter haul that shows it’s not just mining bitcoin, but also dabbling in artificial intelligence like it’s the next big thing. According to Canaccord Genuity, the stock is set for a big boost, with the price target skyrocketing by a whopping 60%. That’s more than most people’s yearly raise!
With the flair of a Shakespearean tragedy, Unicoin submitted its defense to a New York federal judge this week. The company accuses the SEC of mangling its words, turning optimistic forecasts into outright falsehoods, and ignoring clear warnings about risks. It’s almost as if the SEC mistook Unicoin’s investor materials for poetry rather than prose. 📜🔥
