Crypto Chaos: When Tether Decides to Ghost Five Blockchains 😱💸

Tether blockchain breakup

This spicy update affects the cool kids hanging out on Omni Layer, Bitcoin Cash SLP, Kusama, EOS, and Algorand. Tether spilled the beans on Friday after taking some serious community feedback-which, shocker, they listened to! “Following the feedback from the communities of these discontinued blockchains, Tether has revised this approach and will not freeze the smart contracts on these networks.” Translation: We had a plan, y’all showed us receipts, so we backed off. Classic.

Will Hyperliquid (HYPE) Bounce Back or Crash? The $42 Mystery Deepens 🤔💸

Oh, the drama! Hyperliquid just had one of its most dramatic falls since its last tea party. In just 48 hours, it plummeted from a lofty $50.91 to a humble $43.75-a drop of $7.16, according to the ever-watchful Henrik. It’s almost as if the market said, “Oops, we got carried away!” and decided to yank the rug out from under everyone’s feet. Technically speaking, this breakdown suggests that supply has gobbled up demand like a greedy ogre at a buffet. 🐲🍴

OMG, SHIB Could Skyrocket 650% or Just Sit There Like a Boring Potato 🚀🐕‍🦺

BUT WAIT. Some analyst named Kamran Asghar has popped up with a chart that might just give us hope-or at least something to tweet about while we sip our third coffee of the day. According to him, SHIB could be on the verge of breaking free from its snoozy consolidation phase and launching into a 650% rally. Yes, you read that right: SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY PERCENT. 🤯

XRP’s September Slump: A Tragic Tale of Crypto Whales 🐋💸

XRP trades at $2.86, a number that might as well be a haiku about failure. For two weeks, it’s fumbled $3.00 like a toddler with a hot potato. If this trend continues, $2.74 awaits-a cozy little nest for consolidation, courtesy of the whale selloff. One might say the market is conducting a *very* dramatic slow dance.

OKX’s Crypto Balancing Act: Bitcoin Takes a Backseat, Ethereum Steals the Show 🚀💰

On August 29, crypto exchange OKX published its 34th consecutive monthly proof of reserves, verifying it holds all user assets with a substantial surplus. The audit, dated August 18, confirms the platform safeguards $33.7 billion in primary client assets, with Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), and major stablecoins all backed at over 100%. That’s more security than your average bank vault! 💰🔒

Ether ETFs: $13.7B of Madness or Genius? 🤑

Behold, the inflows into Ether (ETH) funds have surged by 44% this month, leaping from a mere $9.5 billion on August 1 to a staggering $13.7 billion on August 28, as proclaimed by the oracles at SoSoValue. The market, ever fickle, attributes this frenzy to the renewed hunger of institutional leviathans. 🦈

Ethereum Foundation Takes a Bow: The Drama of Pausing Grants 🎭

Apparently, the flood of applications has left them gasping for air-or perhaps just a decent cup of Earl Grey. “Limited capacity,” they lament, as if they were hosting a soirée that simply became too popular. But fear not, dears, the grants will continue-albeit with a more curated, strategic approach. Think of it as moving from a buffet to a prix fixe menu. More details are promised in Q4, so do mark your calendars. 😘

How Tether Lost Its Mojo: Stablecoin Dethroning, Drama, and a Tiny Bit of Regulation

On a Friday as sullen as a Russian clerk in August, Tether’s reign slipped to 59.45%. DeFiLlama, presumably named after an animal with a penchant for spreadsheets, confirmed it. Not since March 2023! Tether’s grip loosens, and rumors flutter through the village-“Have you heard? The pie is shrinking!” Even Babushka is concerned, and she trusted stablecoins less than her neighbor’s beet soup.