Cryptonews

Saylor, with his Strategy firm (a name that now feels tragically ironic 🧐), has embraced Bitcoin with the fervor of a religious convert. He doesn’t merely invest; he believes. He purchases in great gulps, financing these acquisitions by issuing more shares, a maneuver that would normally invite the scorn of any sensible investor. Yet, the market, in its fickle nature, has (until now) indulged him. It’s a curious game, this ‘infinite money glitch’ as they call it. A self-fulfilling prophecy built on…what, exactly? Hope? Hubris? Or simply a collective delusion?

Back in 2018, Shailesh Bhatt, a builder-cum-Bitcoin-trader, was snatched from a gas station by cops in official vehicles. *So* subtle, guys. 🙄 They whisked him off to a farmhouse, stole 200 Bitcoins (worth ₹12 crore then), and demanded ₹32 crore more. Bonus points for ambition! 🎯 Oh, and someone impersonated a CBI agent to lure him in. Truly a *dedicated* method actor. 🎭

Crypto analyst Unichartz, who I assume spends his weekends staring at candlesticks and muttering about Fibonacci retracements, has declared that Dogecoin is on the verge of a squeeze. And no, I don’t mean the kind of squeeze you do to a stress ball when your portfolio tanks. This is apparently a “promising structure,” whatever that means. According to him, DOGE is clinging to a rising support line like a cat on a windowsill during a thunderstorm. Buyers, it seems, are feeling bullish, which is either impressive or delusional given the broader crypto market’s current nosedive.

On August 30, the National Bitcoin Office made the official announcement, proudly revealing that they will store the precious BTC across multiple addresses. Each address? A modest stash of no more than 500 BTC. Talk about playing it safe! 🎩💰

The UAE’s own Gewan Holding has shaken hands with Iopn, who’s been out there pioneering decentralized doodads, in a mighty ambitious hoedown to speed up the making of sovereign artificial intelligence, blockchain, and some digital identity magic. Right smack in the middle of this hullabaloo is their newfangled sovereign AI stack, all powered by them Nvidia GPUs-those little chips that run faster than a hound dog on a scent-and held together by Iopn’s secret sauce, the OPN Chain.

Now, if you listen to the folks over at SoSoValue, Ether ETFs packed their bags and hauled off $164.64 million, undoing five days straight of folks pouring $1.5 billion into the place. Talk about a case of buyer’s remorse; like a flat tire on a dusty road, things just stopped rolling smooth.

Visually, Pudgy Party is a delightful nod to the likes of Fall Guys and Stumble Guys, where the primary objective seems to be avoiding the inevitable face-plant while racing through a series of absurdly challenging mini-games. Each round is a new adventure, with twists and turns that ensure no two matches are ever the same. It’s as if the developers have taken a leaf out of the penguin playbook: adapt, survive, and look cute doing it.

The ever-watchful analysts at CryptoQuant have posted on X (because Twitter is so dreadfully 2018) to illuminate a question burning in every financier’s heart: are ETFs sweeping the trading boards, or are they just holding the coats backstage?

Solana [SOL], with the stubbornness of a dust-covered mule, steps forward to twist the gears of its own machinery. The Alpenglow upgrade has come down to a vote – a simple yes or no that could turn the slow churn of transactions into a lightning flash and toughen the network against all comers.

Oh, it’s getting spicy. Uniswap [UNI] is seeing some *serious* whale action. A fresh withdrawal of 408,557 UNI worth a cool $4.11 million from Binance has set tongues wagging. 💸💸