But before you throw your hardware wallet dramatically out the window, let’s examine six suspiciously optimistic signs that September could be slightly less embarrassing for crypto:
an ETF to tickle Wall Street’s fancy, a NASDAQ PIPE (which is undeniably more elegant than plumbing), and the birth of Sonic USA LLC, destined to take up residence among New York’s skyscraping titans.
Asset management firm Bitwise published its “Bitcoin Long-Term Capital Market Assumptions: 2025” report last week, providing one of the industry’s most detailed long-term forecasts for the crypto asset. The firm projected substantial growth for bitcoin, estimating a base case price of more than $1.3 million by 2035. Bitwise stated:
Injective [INJ] looked primed for another downward leg, observed crypto analyst Ali Martinez. I mean, what else is new? It’s like watching a soap opera where everyone knows the plot but can’t look away.
“If innovation cycles are now accelerated to mere weeks,” quoth Mr. Visser unto Anthony Pompliano on a fateful Saturday, “then we find ourselves trapped within a video game where companies can never achieve escape velocity.” And thus, he declared with all the gravitas of Lady Catherine de Bourgh at a ball, “In such a world, you do not invest; you trade!” 😅
The stablecoin tide, once a whisper, now roars at $280 billion-half of it flowing through Ethereum’s veins like a digital river. By 2028, it’ll drown us all in $2 trillion. 🤷♂️
Meanwhile, Japan Post Bank is like, “Hold my ¥190 trillion ($1.29 trillion) in deposits,” as it gears up to unleash a digital currency that’ll make blockchain trading as easy as ordering sushi. 🍣💳
Ethereum and Bitcoin ETFs have decided to play the stock market version of hide-and-seek with investors’ money, leaving $291 million in the dust on August 29th. While Ethereum’s ETFs bled $164.6 million-effectively ending a six-day inflow streak that had previously lured in nearly $1.9 billion-it’s clear the market’s enthusiasm has taken a coffee break. Grayscale’s ETHE, the crypto world’s most dramatic fund, led the exodus with $61.3 million in outflows, followed by Fidelity’s ETH fund (because why not?) and Bitwise’s contribution to the chaos.
Enter: A market expert lurking on X (the social network, not the algebraic unknown, though one could argue Bitcoin behaves suspiciously similar to both). This expert muses that Bitcoin could be preparing for a comeback. On-chain signals, those enigmatic tea leaves of crypto, are apparently pointing to a market bottom. Or maybe they’re just winking at us because they know we have no idea what they actually mean.
Ah, the $107K-$108K zone! Bitcoin’s personal safety net, woven from the dreams of hopeful buyers. They’ve been throwing cash at it like confetti at a parade to keep the price from face-planting. But if BTC tumbles through here like a clumsy giraffe, suddenly it’s “resistance city” and the next pit stop is $103.5K. If sellers throw a wild party, say hello to $101K-$98K. 🐘
