Brandt, ever the pessimist with a flair for drama, proclaims that the erosion of trust in fiat currency is already upon us. 🏦🔥 But fear not, for gold, that ancient relic of wealth, shall rise again like a phoenix from the ashes. 🦅 As for USD-denominated assets? Well, they’re doomed to wither like autumn leaves. 🍂 And altcoins? Oh, they’ll be more worthless than a three-legged chair. 🪑
It appears that, much to the chagrin of those with grand expectations, the larger-cap altcoins exhibit a similar sluggishness, save for the modest blossoms of HYPE and TRX which, like overzealous garden blooms, have managed to sprout forth. In stark contrast, XMR continues its rather dramatic descent after achieving a mid-week zenith, akin to a tragic hero meeting an untimely end.
XRP is basically joined at the hip to Ripple, who originally sold it as the Superman of cross-border payments faster than a speeding bullet 💨 and cheaper than a Tesco meal deal. That pitch worked wonders in the 2017-2018 crypto circus, where XRP soared to dizzying heights before crashing back to earth like a pigeon in a jet engine.
Amidst legislative dramas with the CLARITY Act, the fearless Coinbase CEO remains unwavering in his bullish attitude. On his favorite platform-X, formerly Twitter-he proclaimed that tokenized stocks are “inevitable” because, after all, they’re “faster, cheaper, more global,” a trifecta that could make even the most hardened banker swoon. 💸🌍
Ether’s at roughly $3,300, and basically, it’s at a crossroads. Which is a dramatic way of saying “people are watching to see which way it goes.” You know, like waiting for a friend to decide what to order at a restaurant.
Cue the tragic descent into reality, as the breakout fizzled like a poorly-prepared theatrical act, making way for a chorus of selling pressure that threatened a more profound descent into the abyss of losses.
On the fateful day of January 16, 2026, the Nigerian SEC unveiled a circular so grand, it would make even the most seasoned courtier blush. Lo and behold, the minimum capital requirements were raised for a motley crew of financial entities: core and non-core capital market operators, market infrastructure institutions, capital market consultants, FinTech operators, VASPs, and commodity market intermediaries. A veritable feast of red tape! 📜✨
Apparently, this little spike has stirred some excitement in the crypto world – a realm where excitement often precedes spectacular disappointment. Trading volume has jumped a rather dramatic 65% to $35.48 million. That’s a lot of clicking. A lot.
Genius Terminal, a decentralized exchange, clocked $2.2 billion in weekly volume Saturday. Folks, it’s as if the Mississippi River of crypto suddenly decided to flow backward-just because CZ winked at it. This surge followed YZi Labs’ investment and CZ’s advisory hat, luring high-rollers like moths to a flame (or perhaps to a blockchain).
The letter accused Atkins of dropping crypto cases like they were hot potatoes, including the one against Ripple. Apparently, the SEC’s decision to let these cases go was influenced by some ahem generous political donations. 🤑 But fear not, crypto enthusiasts! Lawyer and XRP guru Bill Morgan stepped in to remind everyone that the SEC can’t just hit the “redo” button on these cases.
