Cryptonews

Why the sudden surge? Oh, just the small matter of Grayscale’s Cardano ETF application, which has an 87% chance of approval according to Polymarket. October 26, 2025, is the big day, and everyone’s acting like it’s the blockchain equivalent of the Super Bowl. Meanwhile, Cardano’s new “Ouroboros Leios” protocol is in public review, which sounds like a fancy way of saying, “We’re still building stuff, folks!” Investors are eating it up like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕

Meanwhile, Ethereum, in its own robust way, held its ground at approximately $4,397. Just slightly below its pirouette of $4,493, but don’t let that fool you-there’s a vigor about it that persists like an aspiring poet with dreams of greatness.

Our dear canine crypto is currently lounging in a limbo-trading within some fancy chart pattern called a symmetrical triangle, which sounds complex but really just means “wait and see.” Short-term indicators are essentially throwing a tantrum and signaling a gentle downward nudge, while the long game remains stubbornly bullish-like waiting for your toast to pop. At this precise, tragically volatile moment, DOGE is tipping the scale at a modest $0.21, down a smidge (3%) this morning and more depressing (6%) for the week, because nothing says “fun” like a price decline.

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The plan, a marvel of high-tech ideas, such as blockchain, which is as reliable as a Russian matryoshka doll. While it may lure investors with promises of rebuilding, it raises eyebrows about stripping Palestinians of their land and rights-like a fox in a henhouse! 🐺

And Ether? The brave little ether, started the week at over four thousand six hundred, but by the weekend, it stumbled down below four thousand three hundred-just enough to make you wonder if the market’s got a sense of humor, or just a cruel streak.

With all the finesse of a serf’s shuffle, Pal turned our eyes to a curious spectacle: crypto wallets beating down doors at a giddy clip topping 137% growth annually over nine years! (One might pause to contemplate how the Old Farmer’s Almanac felt about this.) And so, in the year 2024-a forgotten relic now-a staggering 659 million souls were accounted for by wallets alone. Contrast this, if you will, to the internet era’s youthful droves, some 187 million weaklings, in the year 2000, crawling along at a modest 76% growth per annum.

According to the gospel of Nikkei (let’s be honest, it’s more like a trendy blog these days), this currency is designed to help us mere mortals manage our finances better. Apparently, it’s not enough that we have wallets filled with plastic; we now need a virtual currency to explore “new applications” in the economy. Didn’t know my bank account had aspirations! 🌍

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Ah, the eternal dance of XRP near its August lows-a spectacle worthy of Tolstoy’s pen, if he were alive and trading crypto. Traders watch nervously as price teeters on the edge of $2.70-$2.75, clinging to support like a drunkard to a lamppost. Analysts, those modern-day prophets armed with Fibonacci retracements, assure us this is all part of some grand five-wave opera. Whether it ends in triumph or tragedy remains unwritten.