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Coinglass figures show exchange ETH futures open interest in the high-$50 billion after peaking above $70 billion in late August. Across venues, open interest totals 13.28 million ETH ($57.43 billion), a muscular backdrop that keeps funding and liquidations as relevant as a forgotten rhyme in a limerick.

To hold at $1.45 is to clutch a fragile lifeline; breaking above $2 and $2.43 might certify a revival. A fall below $1.45 would lure the price toward $1.32, like a shadow dragging its heels. 😅

The plan, a grand spectacle of phased “treasury management,” begins with a mere $500 million in SOL, a drop in the ocean of corporate greed. Yet, VisionSys, ever the optimist, envisions a digital utopia where balance sheets and crypto assets coexist in harmonious chaos. One can almost hear the echo of Lenin’s ghost whispering, “Comrades, this is the way forward!”

The Treasury and IRS, ever the paragons of bureaucratic complexity, have issued interim guidance to “reduce compliance burdens” under the Corporate Alternative Minimum Tax (CAMT). A 15% minimum tax on the income of the mighty corporations, a beast of 1920s-era rigor, now sees its claws dulled. How noble! 🐉

Platforms such as Nasdaq, Robinhood, Coinbase, and Kraken-each a suitor vying for regulatory favor-have either begun courting the SEC or are already testing their tokenized stock wares. A most curious courtship, indeed! 🤝🎭

Analysts, those modern-day prophets, whisper of bullish chart patterns, as if the market’s a Shakespearean tragedy waiting for its climax. 🎭

Like a prisoner tasting borscht after years of cabbage soup, the market size of the sector ballooned by 3%, reaching a staggering $34 billion. A pittance compared to the riches of the oligarchs, but a victory nonetheless. 💰

BeInCrypto’s clever clogs have conjured up three altcoins that once danced the shutdown tango in 2018. Let’s see if they’re ready for a waltz or a wobble this time around! 💃🕺

This left crypto custodians with very limited options, and if advisors relied on state-trust companies, they had to bear the risk of SEC enforcement. This lack of clarity made many institutional investors hesitant, which has been stifling crypto growth so far.