A certain analyst, whose name shall remain unuttered (lest we grant him undue fame), dares to whisper that Ethereum’s revival is but a fleeting illusion. “A multi-month downtrend,” he murmurs, as if reciting a dirge. How dramatic! 🦉✨ And yet, one must admit, his caution is not entirely unwarranted. The $4,000 threshold looms like a sphinx, its riddle unsolved, its claws poised to strike.
Stadelmann also blamed the economy, because of course he did. “Macroeconomic uncertainty” is just a fancy way of saying, “We’re all winging it.” Meanwhile, Bitcoin ventures are like that one friend who insists on paying in cash-no VCs needed, thanks to their bootstrapping, community-loving ways. Gabe Salinas, CEO of Alamo Labs, put it best: “Bitcoin doesn’t need your fancy VC money. It’s got its own fan club.” 🎩✨
Ah, Monday-the day ICP decided to send its investors into a frenzy. The token took a dramatic 11.2% plunge to $6.69, smashing through the sacred $7.00 support level as though it were an obstacle in an absurdist play. It was like a well-scripted tragedy, complete with a surprise twist: the decline has been steadily unfolding for the past week, a perfect follow-up to the previously “hopeful” $8.76 rally. Alas, the fairytale didn’t last long-ICP’s descent was the stuff of nightmares. CoinDesk’s technical research (bless them) tells us this was one of the sharpest drops seen in months. Maybe next time, ICP, try a more graceful exit.
On Tuesday, Stellar’s XLM token-ever the drama queen-rose 3.62% to $0.3004, making a showy break above key resistance. The volume? Well, it soared nearly 19% above its 30-day average, as if to announce to the world, “I’m here to stay!” This move put XLM ahead of the broader crypto market by 4.86%, nudging it closer to the 5% relative strength threshold. That magic number, of course, is often the harbinger of a breakout that leaves us all holding our breath.
The Senate, that paragon of efficiency, has finally brokered a budget bill to end the longest-ever government shutdown. One might say it’s a triumph of democracy, or perhaps just a temporary reprieve from the chaos. 🚀
Pi Network is getting ready to launch its mainnet version 23. After a successful first test phase where millions of transactions were processed with very few errors, the network has proven it can handle a lot of activity like a real-world system.
Ah, Strategy (MSTR), the grand corporate champion of bitcoin, announced on Monday that it splashed a staggering $49.9 million on bitcoin just last week. The result? An impressive 641,692 bitcoins stashed away, worth an eye-watering $68 billion at today’s dizzying prices.
In the grand theatre of market chaos, over 117,978 traders-longs and shorts-found themselves purged in a whirlwind of losses totaling approximately $342 million. Bitcoin? Leading the parade with a formidable $116 million lost, proving that in crypto, fortune favors the bold… and occasionally the foolish. The shorts, in particular, took the brunt – roughly $107 million, as they bet on further decline and got… well, a surprise rally instead. Classic! 😄
Bitcoin, ever the opportunist, joins the risk assets in their triumphant rebound, as if the US government’s shutdown were but a fleeting nightmare. 🌈
