According to the S-1 registration statement filed with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission on Tuesday (those busy bees!), the Bitwise Chainlink ETF aims to dangle direct exposure to LINK in front of investors. And who’s the lucky custodian? None other than Coinbase Custody, of course! 🏦🔐
The curtain rises: SharpLink now clutches 797,704 Ether-cue the drumroll-which is a cool $3.7 billion. Plus, there’s still $200 million in cash, seemingly begging to be thrown at more coins. The company dropped this revelation on a Tuesday, as if Tuesdays weren’t dramatic enough.
A whale, this leviathan of the meme-deeps, moving not with the herd but through it, a silent mountain shifting its snow. Is this the prelude to a great shedding, a winter for jests? Or merely a giant, weary of his solitary hoard, deciding to mingle with the merchants? The exchange, that great bazaar, receives the avalanche into its vaults without a flinch, its own coffers swelling by a silent, staggering two percent.
According to a press release dated August 26, Trump Media & Technology Group, Crypto.com, and Yorkville Acquisition Corp. have entered into what can only be described as a crypto-themed marriage. Together, they’ve birthed Trump Media Group CRO Strategy, Inc., a publicly-traded company destined to dazzle-or confuse-the masses on Nasdaq under the ticker MCGA.
But let’s rewind with the grace of a sugar-plumed peacock to last Friday, shall we?
CROCRO$0.1953◢21.03%
But wait, there’s more! New intel suggests that things might not be as reckless as they sound-surprise, surprise. 😏
When queried about the Solana-versus-Ethereum skirmish, King minced no words: “Ethereum, the silverback gorilla of crypto, sits comfortably in the number two spot. Solana, our radiant underdog, is among the top five, poised to dethrone the incumbent. This debate is so heated, I might as well have suggested that the Earth is flat!”
As Powell charmingly suggested that the economy might just be on its best behaviour, gold’s price ascended gracefully by around 1%, flirting with $3,370 an ounce. Meanwhile, the dollar took a backseat, and Treasury yields, those ever-dull but essential actors, bowed gracefully, opening the door for our favorite safe haven to strut its stuff. The market’s collective imagination was stirred: perhaps we’re drafting a dovish masterpiece, and gold is the star.
If approved, this ETF will trade on a U.S. exchange under a secret code name (probably something like $MOONLAMBO). Investors can finally pretend they’re sophisticated while gambling on a token that’s down 5% in 24 hours. 🎰
