Pi Coin (PI) is teetering on the edge of a big move, sitting at $0.366 on Saturday, Aug. 30, just a hair above its recent low of $0.3167. It’s like watching a teeter-totter at a playground-any moment now, something’s gonna give. Its market value has taken a nosedive from almost $20 billion post-launch to $2.7 billion. Ouch! 😖
Meanwhile, the market ponders with bated breath: Has the glorious bull run finally waved its tired tail and trotted off into the sunset? Enter one famed analyst, cloaked in gloom and doom, ringing a rather loud alarm bell-imagine the eardrum-shattering Good News of impending disaster.
Mr. Schat, the Co-Founder and CEO (a title that sounds terribly important, doesn’t it?), has been sentenced to a brisk 52 months in Her Majesty’s… er, *His* Majesty’s Federal Prison. Mr. Podulka, the Chief Financial Officer – the fellow who presumably kept track of where all the money went (or didn’t) – will be spending a slightly less extended 36 months contemplating the error of his ways. There was a third gent involved, James Alexander, but we’ll leave him for another day. The charges, as you might suspect, involved a fair bit of what the authorities rather sternly call “wire fraud.”
Bitcoin, that fickle lover, has abandoned its multiyear trendline support, leaving investors in a state of existential dread. 🐻💸
Initially, Tether, with what appeared to be the air of a stern schoolmaster, planned to put a full stop to its contracts on the first of September. But, as every Russian novelist knows, the power of the people-not developers and users, but the ones with the heart and the cry-is immense. The commotion that followed led to a more palatable course, letting Tether free to devote its resources to blockchains with the bustling lifeblood of proven adoption and sharp-witted developer activity.
Saylor, with his Strategy firm (a name that now feels tragically ironic 🧐), has embraced Bitcoin with the fervor of a religious convert. He doesn’t merely invest; he believes. He purchases in great gulps, financing these acquisitions by issuing more shares, a maneuver that would normally invite the scorn of any sensible investor. Yet, the market, in its fickle nature, has (until now) indulged him. It’s a curious game, this ‘infinite money glitch’ as they call it. A self-fulfilling prophecy built on…what, exactly? Hope? Hubris? Or simply a collective delusion?
Back in 2018, Shailesh Bhatt, a builder-cum-Bitcoin-trader, was snatched from a gas station by cops in official vehicles. *So* subtle, guys. 🙄 They whisked him off to a farmhouse, stole 200 Bitcoins (worth ₹12 crore then), and demanded ₹32 crore more. Bonus points for ambition! 🎯 Oh, and someone impersonated a CBI agent to lure him in. Truly a *dedicated* method actor. 🎭
Crypto analyst Unichartz, who I assume spends his weekends staring at candlesticks and muttering about Fibonacci retracements, has declared that Dogecoin is on the verge of a squeeze. And no, I don’t mean the kind of squeeze you do to a stress ball when your portfolio tanks. This is apparently a “promising structure,” whatever that means. According to him, DOGE is clinging to a rising support line like a cat on a windowsill during a thunderstorm. Buyers, it seems, are feeling bullish, which is either impressive or delusional given the broader crypto market’s current nosedive.
On August 30, the National Bitcoin Office made the official announcement, proudly revealing that they will store the precious BTC across multiple addresses. Each address? A modest stash of no more than 500 BTC. Talk about playing it safe! 🎩💰
The UAE’s own Gewan Holding has shaken hands with Iopn, who’s been out there pioneering decentralized doodads, in a mighty ambitious hoedown to speed up the making of sovereign artificial intelligence, blockchain, and some digital identity magic. Right smack in the middle of this hullabaloo is their newfangled sovereign AI stack, all powered by them Nvidia GPUs-those little chips that run faster than a hound dog on a scent-and held together by Iopn’s secret sauce, the OPN Chain.
