It’s September 12th, Bitcoin just strutted past $115,000 like it owns the place, altcoins are throwing confetti, and Chainlink casually tweets that its TVS has hit over $100 billion. No biggie. 🥳
And yet, we are told by sources close to the matter (sources, of course, who have been mysteriously cloaked in shadow) that Polymarket seeks not just to return to the US but to seek new funding, enough to increase its worth threefold. A $10 billion valuation, they claim. Oh, what a world! Do the heavens tremble at such numbers, or do they laugh behind closed doors? Some investor, a figure who may very well be a digital fortune teller, put the value precisely at $10 billion. A modest estimate, don’t you think?
Word on the street (and by street, we mean fancy reports) is that their tokenized money market concoction-fabulously named the BlackRock USD Institutional Digital Liquidity Fund, or just BUIDL for short-is already prancing about on Ethereum’s playground, shaking hands with big siblings like Securitize and BNY Mellon who babysit custody and transfer agent duties.
Paxos, Frax Finance, Agora, Ethena, and Sky each prance around, vying to cloak themselves with the honor of issuing Hyperliquid’s very own USDH stablecoin, inciting a frenzy reminiscent of a brawl at a Ukrainian tavern.
By isolating USAT from its more globally promiscuous cousin USDT, Tether cleverly sidesteps the need for full transparency-like hiding the punchline of a joke while still telling the story. With $100 billion in US Treasuries in its wardrobe, Tether can now play the regulatory game with the finesse of a well-dressed diplomat.
Now, this isn’t just about putting ETFs on a blockchain for fun. Oh, no. This is BlackRock pushing Wall Street’s massive elephant into the age of modern tech. It’s an attempt to blend good ol’ traditional investing with some fancy digital infrastructure. Imagine this: ETFs, those mundane little investment products tracking assets like stocks, now being issued as tokens on a blockchain. Can you hear the applause from the tech geeks and the hedge fund guys? It’s happening, folks. But, naturally, this plan still needs some government-friendly thumbs-up before it becomes official. So, for now, it’s just a glint of hope. But hey, one step at a time.
Enter the Bonk [BONK] ecosystem, strutting out with a launchpad so snazzy it’s simultaneously shrinking supply and inflating hype faster than you can say “flying spaghetti code.”
On the 1-hour chart, our dear XRP is trapped in a straitjacket between $3.02 and $3.075, like a bureaucrat in a Gogol novel, unable to decide whether to ascend or descend. A mild pullback from $3.075 has left it stabilizing, its structure as “constructive” as a nose on a face. Higher lows remain, yet a bearish divergence lurks, as subtle as a sneeze in a silent room. Tactical parameters? Oh, they’re as clear as a foggy morning: entries at $3.02 to $3.04, exits at $3.08 to $3.10. Range-bound, indeed! 🧐📉
As part of this most ambitious alliance, Cypher Capital shall endeavor to craft strategies so cunning they might make a fox blush-strategies designed to entice institutions to dabble in POL, earn yield like it’s 1895 and they’re at a stock exchange, and help secure the network. Rumor has it they’ve already taken a sizable position in POL, which is either a shrewd move or a very British way of saying “I’ve invested in a hat.”
But hold your applause! This is but a mere administrative pirouette, a nod from the DTCC that these ETFs exist somewhere in the whimsical realm of “not-yet-approved” by the venerable U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, that august body which delights in exercising the virtue of procrastination.
