Ethereum, XRP, and the rest of the altcoins followed suit, their prices plummeting to levels unseen since the dawn of the digital age. Analysts, those wise sages of the financial world, insist the sell-off is not due to crypto’s inherent virtues but rather the specter of macroeconomic fears and the looming government shutdown. How thrilling! 🎉
Nick, the ever-insightful crypto pundit, shared Johnson’s comments at CNBC’s Delivering Alpha conference. “Bitcoin,” she said, “is the greatest distraction from the greatest disruption that is coming to financial services.” Oh, how blunt! She went on to argue that blockchain’s true worth lies in its ability to revolutionize payments, smart contracts, and tokenization. Not in Bitcoin! The nerve of it. This very statement resurfaces just as Franklin Templeton, a colossal $1.53 trillion asset manager, is preparing to unveil its XRP ETF. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe just the universe aligning with the XRP Ledger’s potential!
Behold! One of Bitcoin’s earliest known whales-yes, the digital equivalent of a Victorian gentleman with a penchant for gold-has finally wrapped his moonlit exit. Arkham Intelligence reported Thursday that Mr. Owen Gunden, a 2011-era BTC pioneer, sent his final 2,499 BTC to Kraken, a transfer valued at approximately $230 million. One might say he’s trading his crypto crown for a quiet cup of tea and perhaps a new yacht.
Notre cher Andrea, ce fameux expert, nous dévoile une vision de trois mois, allant jusqu’à prévoir une chute monumentale. Imaginez, la grande star pourrait bien s’écraser en beauté, après avoir fait semblant de monter vers les étoiles. Une remontée, voire une sorte de balade en montagnes russes, jusqu’à ce que la fin d’année nous fasse saliver pour un sommet à 115 000 dollars… ou plus. Mais ne vous réjouissez pas trop vite, car à l’horizon, une chute vers un modeste 60 000 dollars semble poindre, en 2026, comme une fin de séance de cirque. 🎪🧨
In the latest drama:
These orange beauties now sit next to the more familiar bank ATMs, looking all shiny and ready to offer quick cash-to-Bitcoin conversions and, for the brave souls, selling options. It’s the future, or at least that’s what they tell us!
Only $100 million stands between this platform and its “historic” milestone. How poetic that the final stretch coincides with Mayhem Mode-a digital circus where every token is a lion tamer, and the audience is holding the whip. 🦁🎪
Bitcoin-focused treasuries now languish at a 37% discount, Ethereum’s at 39%, and Solana’s a pitiful 59%-all while their underlying tokens merely gasped at 16%, 22%, and 28% declines. One might almost pity the poor souls who mistook this for a temporary blip rather than a full-blown existential crisis. “The market,” intones the report, “is undervaluing these companies,” as if the laws of economics had suddenly forgotten their own rules.
There’s a fresh reversal attempt on the chart, but let’s be honest, it’s about as reliable as a troll’s promise. It’s failed once already, and unless $3,170 finally cracks, it’ll fail again. Because, you know, why make things easy? 😅
Meanwhile, the bitcoin ETFs are crying into their digital pillows, hemorrhaging cash faster than a failed vampire hunter: a staggering $523 million vanished in one gloomy Tuesday, marking the worst day on record for BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust. Now that’s a proper purge-a blood oath to the gods of crypto despair. 🩸
