Cryptonews

“Between now and the end of the year, the allocations for Bitcoin for the next year from the traditional finance world are going to be increased,” Visser piped up to Anthony Pompliano during a jolly chat on the old YouTube. “I think Bitcoin’s allocation number will go higher across portfolios,” he added, with all the confidence of a man who’s just won the annual village cricket match. “That is going to happen,” he emphasized, as if we were all a bit thick and needed it spelled out. 🧐💼

The whispering winds of financial conjuring finally bore fruit with the fabled launch of the Rex-Osprey Dogecoin ETF, bearing the esteemed moniker DOJE. Alas, the actuality of its ascendancy will grace our horizons one week hence, rather than the nullity of September twelfth as earlier prophesied.

Morpho [MORPHO] has been creeping upwards since April, like a slow, reluctant tide, rising 154% in five months. However, it still lingers 48% below its glorious, mythical peak of $4.17 back in January-ah, the memories of better days.

Behold, the XRP Ledger prepares to unveil its grandest security measure yet-the XLS-86 Firewall. Proclaimed by a dUNL Validator known only as ‘Vet’ (a name as enigmatic as it is fitting), this amendment promises to fortify the ramparts of investor protection. At its heart lies a noble aim: to grant thee, the investor, dominion over thy transactions, lest the scoundrels of the digital underworld pilfer thy hard-earned XRP. 🕵️♂️

The merry band called Protocol Guild conducted a grand inquisition of 111 from a council of 190 brave souls. The result? Most earn only half or even less of what their dashing brethren fetch elsewhere, a tragic comedy worthy of a Gogol sketch.

Ah, the much-anticipated US DOGE ETF, a promise deferred like some weary traveler on an endless road. Now it dangles on the horizon, postponed yet again, shifting the hopeful date into the hazy realm of September 18. Such delays are cruel tricks of fate, causing a transient despair, yet the thirst for Dogecoin remains undiminished. Some viewed this as a mere pause for breath; others seized the moment, like hungry wolves smelling fresh game, to enter the fray.

Our dear friend SHIB, that mischievous child of the crypto bazaar, has swollen by a modest 8.9% in but a day-an ascent not unlike that of a cat stubbornly clawing its way up an unbecoming drapery.

Yet, in the shadows of this triumph, the Shibarium network, that vaunted layer-2 solution, confessed to a wound-a hack, no less. The irony, oh the irony! A network designed to fortify, itself breached. And yet, the total value locked (TVL) surged, as if the very act of vulnerability had become a perverse catalyst for growth. DeFi Llama, that silent chronicler of our times, reported a 40% jump to $2.28 million, a figure not seen since the halcyon days of June. 📈

Apparently, the crypto market is feeling as optimistic as Jenna Maroney after a good hair day, and ETH is ready to break out like Tracy Jordan from a meeting. Could $5,000 be the new “I want to go to there”?

So, what’s behind this sudden *rocket launch* in price? Well, apparently, it’s the markets rising with the kind of optimism you’d see when someone finds an extra fry at the bottom of the bag. There’s talk of a potential Federal Reserve rate cut in September (because who doesn’t want a little discount on interest rates, am I right?).