So, folks, Sub-Saharan Africa (SSA) had a major fintech fling in March, hitting an eye-popping $25 billion in on-chain volume. That’s a record since-wait for it-January! Chainalysis, our techy friends in blockchain security, noted this spike was like, totally against the grain of what everyone else was up to.
Those titanic creatures, known colloquially as “whales,” are stirring, hoarding digital gold as their Open Interest stretches toward the celestial $42 billion-an omen suggesting fingers tap the drumbeat for a glorious charge.
The whispers, naturally, revolve around those titans of finance – BlackRock and their ilk – allegedly stocking up on XRP with the subtlety of a duchess selecting a particularly dazzling tiara. The rumour mill, as always, is working overtime. ✨
This whole blockchain thing isn’t exactly new. Banks and exchanges have been toying with it for years, like playing around with a new toy that just won’t work. But LSEG, being the brave soul it is, was like, “Let’s put some real money into this and make it happen.” And boom-real transactions. How exciting.
Behold, the key unlocks of this tragicomic farce! Optimism (OP) leads the charge with $91.49 million, a sum that would make a tsar weep. Fasttoken (FTN) follows, clutching its $89.8 million like a miser clutching his last kopek. LayerZero (ZRO) adds $51.16 million, while Velodrome Finance (VELO) and Arbitrum (ARB) unleash $49.32 million and $47.8 million, respectively. A veritable feast of folly, where each player vies for their moment in the spotlight, only to be swallowed by the void of the market’s indifference. 🎭
On a gloomy Monday, beneath the towering marble walls of justice, they asked, ever so politely, if the quills of litigation might be set aside, “subject to review and approval,” don’t forget those mouthfuls, by the mighty commission. All fighting paused… indefinitely. Because why rush when the spectacle is so much fun?
In a Monday X post (yes, X, because Twitter was too mainstream), the Fellowship PAC announced its grand entrance with “over $100 million” from sources as mysterious as my uncle’s secret meatloaf recipe. 🥩 Their mission? To support the Trump administration’s digital asset strategy, because who doesn’t love a good crypto-political romance? 💑🇺🇸
Well, I’ll be jiggered! $244 million worth of ETH has scarpered from exchanges in 48 hours, faster than a bounder from a dull party. Whales and traders are hoarding it like it’s the last crumpet at tea time, betting on a spot of long-term upside. 🧐💰
Anchorage Digital Bank NA, the fanciest federally chartered digital asset bank this side of the blockchain, will be the brains behind USAT’s issuance, reserve management, and compliance. 🧠✨ According to a press release shared with TopMob, this partnership is like peanut butter and jelly-except it’s crypto rails and bank oversight. 🥜🍇
Le REX-Osprey XRP ETF, $XRPR, arrive ! Oui, oui, il sera le premier ETF américain à offrir aux investisseurs une exposition directe au troisième plus gros de la cryptomonnaie, $XRP. Une première ! Foule enthousiaste ! 🎉
