Bitcoin, that fickle deity of the digital age, has endured six weeks of decline in the past seven, tumbling from its October zenith of $126,500 to a mere $81,000, before clawing back to $85,000. A fall from grace, or a mere stumble on the path to glory? 🌋
Now everyone’s asking, “Is this the beginning of the end, or just a little hiccup in the grand digital dragon dance?” Stay tuned, because it’s about as clear as a politician’s promise at a State Fair.
After almost vanishing from the global scene, China has made a sneaky return to the third spot, amassing roughly 14% of the worldwide mining capacity by October, according to Hashrate Index. Talk about an undercover operation! 🕵️♀️
Since October 15, the Solana-powered party bus handed over $436 million in USDC to Kraken, the exchange everyone pretends to trust. Blockchain data platform Lookonchain confirmed that Pump.fun’s team was basically saying, “Thanks for the memories-now, I’m out.” ✌️
Yes, XRP has managed to crawl back above the $2 line, probably tired of all the doom-and-gloom whispers. The charts, which are more dramatic than a Tolstoy novel, turned from despair to excitement overnight.
When an asset plunges deep into oversold territory while setting new “I haven’t seen prices this low since dial-up internet” records, one of two things happens: either sellers collapse from exhaustion (cue the rebound), or the downtrend drags on like a bad movie sequel-slow, painful, and devoid of popcorn-worthy excitement. 🍿📉
Kevin, with the solemnity of a prophet, unveils a weekly chart that reads like a prophecy. The $0.138 level, he declares, is a confluence of Fibonacci, moving averages, and a trendline that feels more like a noose than a safety net. “This is the fulcrum,” he intones, “where the bull case either stands or collapses into the void.” 🐕💸
In a stunning display of crypto spite and capitalistic exuberance, Monad has allegedly secured $269 million from 85,820 subscribers-perhaps victims of coupon-clicking hypnosis-raising eyebrows and price graphs before their mainnet debuts.
Verily, the tech stocks and crypto markets have been cast into the abyss these past fortnight, a calamity wrought by the fickle expectations of a rate cut, as Charles Edwards, the wise founder of Capriole Fund, did proclaim on the platform of X. 🕊️📉 “As the market doth revert,” quoth he, “so too shall Bitcoin be carried aloft, though by what winds, none can say with certainty.”
Here’s the scoop:
