Kalshi Embraces NEAR: A Match Made in Crypto Heaven? 🌪️💸

The announcement, as is the custom in our digital age, arrived on November 25 via a tweet from the Kalshi Ecosystem account, retweeted by the Near Foundation’s own heralds. Both communities, ever eager for a spectacle, rallied with the enthusiasm of a crowd at a Moscow circus. 🎪🤹‍♂️

XRP’s Grand Plunge: A Farce of Fading Fortunes 🌊💸

From the hallowed halls of Binance, the grand bazaar of digital speculation, comes the damning evidence: XRP’s Open Interest has plummeted to its lowest ebb since November 2024. A clear sign, dear reader, that the speculative rabble has lost its appetite, and leverage, that double-edged sword, is being unwound with all the grace of a fallen aristocrat. 🗡️

🚨 Kiyosaki’s Doom Prophecy: Crash, Crypto, or Clown Show? 🚨

In a missive on the modern oracle of X, Kiyosaki proclaimed that the economic collapse foretold in his tome, Rich Dad’s Prophecy, is no longer a distant specter but a banquet at which we are all uninvited guests. He points to the trifecta of weakness in the United States, Europe, and Asia as proof that the global economy is not merely sick but terminally ill. 🏥💀 The rise of artificial intelligence, he warns, is not the dawn of a new era but the grim reaper of jobs, swinging its scythe across sectors with ruthless efficiency. This, he claims, will crush real estate markets like a boot on a grape, leaving workers, businesses, and property owners in a puddle of financial despair.

Bitcoin’s Blunder, Ether’s Bounce, Solana’s Shine: A Tale of Crypto Woes and Wins! 🤑

The market, my dear fellow, opened with a narrative as familiar as Jeeves’s impeccable manners: uncertainty swirling around Bitcoin ETFs, renewed optimism lifting Ether, and Solana riding a wave of demand so strong it could carry a chap across the Atlantic. 🌊 Each asset class played its part with the clarity of a Wodehouse plot-though one suspects even Bertie Wooster could’ve seen this coming.

UAE’s New Financial Law: DeFi and Web3 Brace for a Wild Ride

DeFi in the UAE

According to Irina Heaver, a local crypto lawyer and founder of NeosLegal (who clearly knows her stuff), this new law marks a huge shift in the region’s crypto scene. It’s like the government saying, “Hey, nice decentralized exchange you have there. Let’s add some rules, shall we?” 😏

Is Crypto a Security? Find Out What the SEC Still Won’t Tell You in 2025!

Ah, the eternal question that haunts every crypto enthusiast like a ghost at a Halloween party: “Is crypto a security?” It’s been asked in crypto conferences, congressional hearings, SEC speeches, courtrooms, and probably by your grandma when you tried to explain Bitcoin to her. And yet, we’re still here, in 2025, with the answer just as clear as a foggy morning.