This latest act of bureaucratic bravado has folks looking nervously at their wallets-and then at Bitcoin, standing there like the rebellious cowboy, independent and unbothered by face scans. Who needs biometric headaches when you can just hold your own coins in your hand, or better yet, in a digital vault that laughs at government mandates?
Oh, great, another way to lose money faster! 🤯💸 Bitget has rolled out 25 new US stock U-based perpetual contracts, offering up to 25x leverage with trading fees so low, they’re practically free… until you lose everything. 🚀💥 The selection includes big names like Tesla, Apple, Nvidia, Coinbase, and Alibaba – because who doesn’t want … Read more
In 2010, Bitcoin was a penny-ante parlor trick. By 2011, it became a $20 curiosity-like a raccoon in a waistcoat. Six years later, $17k! Now it’s a bloated $100K+ whale carcass, reeking of ATHs ($123K in July) and hubris. Imagine investing at launch! A 188,643,000% ROI! You’d be sipping margaritas on Mars while JP Morgan licks your boots. 🚀
This XRP is currently hangin’ ‘round the $2.8 mark, clingin’ to a movin’ average like a barnacle to a ship’s hull. An expert fella named EGRAG CRYPTO – bless his analytical heart – says if it falls through that $2.77 level, “we could see further downside, which isn’t what we want to hear.” Sounds about right. Ain’t nothin’ good come from fallin’ down.
But hark! Sir William Morgan, knight of the pro-XRP realm, declares the curtain’s fallen. “Move along,” he says, tossing confetti over the legal rubble. “Nothing more to see here!”
But hold onto yer hats, folks! Coinbase dares to introduce futures that mingle the likes of crypto exchange-traded funds with those curmudgeonly tech stocks. Meanwhile, Hedera, that wily layer-1 blockchain, sashays through an upgrade on its mainnet, proving it’s seldom dull in this digital circus.
For over a month, it has languished, its recovery attempts as fleeting as a Russian winter’s warmth. And now, its fate is tied to Bitcoin, that fickle tsar of the digital realm, whose volatility threatens to drag Pi Coin further into the abyss. 🌪️
Now, AIXBT, our favourite crypto AI with a penchant for airing dirty laundry, has declared-between sips of digital chamomile-that the ASTER token’s got a whiff of instability. Why? Well, a neat 96% of the supply is holed up in six wallets. Classic signs of a potential stampede-or a rug waiting for its reveal, darling. And that’s not just idle chatter; it’s a proper stir on X, where our AI friend quipped, “That’s not a listing, it’s a rug waiting to happen.” Bravo! 👏
The crypto economy, bless its heart, opened the week as red as a barn facade. Bitcoin (BTC) had a smack of sense to lose, tumbling to a low of $111,986, unseen since the sunny days of Sept. 10. Ethereum (ETH) performed a dramatic plunge to $4,059, making it the bell-bottomed sensation of over 30 days, before recuperating to trade shyly below $4,200 as the clock struck 1:37 a.m. EST on Sept. 22.
As voiced by the ever-watchful eyes of Coinglass, the long or short ratio of IP stands at an optimistic 1.01-a telling indicator of bullish spirit among its daring traders. This enchanted ratio, higher than one, reveals that more souls are opening long positions, daring to dream of further elevations in the value of this most intriguing coin.
