Cryptonews

Polymarket, with a flourish most dramatic, proclaimed this Wednesday past that its American app is now alive and well, in a rollout as phased as a poorly choreographed country dance. Thus, it restores to the good people of this nation access to one of the world’s most esteemed prediction platforms, after an absence as protracted as a sermon on a rainy Sunday. In a missive on X, the company declared with no small measure of self-congratulation, “Against all odds. Polymarket’s U.S. app is now being rolled out to those on the waitlist. We’re launching with sports – followed by markets on everything.” 🏈💼

Earlier this month, ProShares, that audacious upstart, submitted amendments seeking approval for high-leverage ETFs designed to deliver triple the daily performance of major assets-cryptocurrencies and tech stocks alike. The SEC, with the gravitas of a prophet, responded with a letter as dense as a Dostoevskian tome, asserting that the funds violate Rule 18f-4, an Investment Company Act rule that limits leverage like a jailer confines a prisoner. 🚫

However, the rally has not been without its hiccups, as several bearish signals suggest the market condition is not fully bullish yet. Or, as I call it, “The Wall of Whining.” 🙄

Now, as the MSCI Global Standard Indexes are pondering whether to give Strategy’s prized digital treasury assets (DATs) the boot, Saylor’s crew is busy chatting with the index folks – a bit like techie kids pleading with the teacher to keep them in the game, no matter how much they might be bending the rules. Reuters nicely reported on Wednesday that Strategy says they’re “engaging” in this process, which sounds either stubborn or strategically diplomatic – your pick. Meanwhile, JPMorgan has wet everyone’s appetite with a claim that if Strategy’s stock gets excluded, roughly $2.8 billion could evaporate faster than a snowman in July.

Bitcoin’s rebound into a major resistance band has traders dusting off six-figure price targets, with several desks now openly talking about a push toward $100K if spot demand holds. Who needs reality when you can just… checks notes… hold?

MSCI’s proposal, a sly whisper on October 10, threatens to reclassify Bitcoin-heavy titans as “digital asset funds,” barring them from the sacred halls of global indexes. Imagine the chaos: trillions of dollars, the lifeblood of passive investments, forced to flee in a frenzy, not a gradual retreat. JPMorgan, ever the gloomy prophet, forecasts a deluge of $8.8 billion if others follow suit. 💸💸💸

Crypto adoption surged throughout Q4 – and now, in December 2025, it’s clear we’ve entered a new self-custody era. With rising prices, year-end momentum, and more users seeking control, wallets have become the front door to everything in crypto. 🛡️

Imagine a parent-controlled sub-account app that lets kids tiptoe through the wondrous world of cryptocurrency-supervised, of course. Just what every six-year-old dreams of, right? But wait, before you pull out your hair in confusion, rest assured, the app doesn’t involve playing with volatile assets like spot or futures trading. That’s for the adults, my dear. Instead, it’s all about the gently lulling embrace of “Flexible Simple Earn” products. What could go wrong?

Picture this: industry titans such as Strategy Chairman Michael Saylor (who clearly believes Bitcoin is the new black), Ripple’s Brad Garlinghouse, Lily Liu of Solana fame, and Raoul Pal, darling of Real Vision. And amidst this glittering cavalcade, a debate to rival Shakespeare-Bitcoin versus tokenized gold, starring Peter Schiff, the ever-charming gold bug, and Binance’s own Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, who nobody laughs at when he’s on stage. And of course, all of this can be ’watched’ on Binance Live, because who wants to miss the spectacle offline? 📺💃