Cryptonews

Rodriguez and Hill, sentenced in November to five and four years respectively for conspiring to operate an unlicensed money-transmitting business (a crime that sounds suspiciously like “being slightly less boring than a tax accountant”), face incarceration in early 2026 unless a pardon descends from the heavens like a crypto-filled manna. Their plea deal-admitting guilt to “conspiring” while dodging laundering charges-reads like a modernist play where the plot is optional.

CasiTrades explained that XRP’s dip back in the icy depths of December was merely a prelude, a theatrical curtain drop before the real show began. When XRP slipped down to a modest $2.03, it was like being called to the market’s version of a timeout-time to chew on some Fibonacci numbers and Bitcoin’s lofty $79,000 dreams. Her charts, which look suspiciously like a wizard’s scroll but are really just very complicated doodles, suggested that this was all part of a grand subwave 3 plan-an extension, if you want to sound like you know what you’re talking about. The target? A cozy little $1.90, sitting comfortably between technical support and an enviable Bitcoin milestone, all while waving a flag that said “We’re not done yet.”

On a Tuesday-a day as mundane as the legislation itself-the UK decided that digital assets deserved their own little corner in the legal sandbox. King Charles III, presumably between sips of tea, gave his approval, and voilà! Crypto is now a distinct category of property. 🥳 The law, which sailed through Parliament without so much as a hiccup, confirms that digital assets can enjoy property rights separate from physical objects and contractual rights. Because, you know, why should the real world have all the fun?

Zcash’s price, after a December plunge that would make Hamlet weep, now clings to a “technical support region” (a phrase so technical, it’s practically in Latin). At $363.02, it bounces back 10.2%-a rebound so modest, one might call it “respectful” if not for the stench of short-term panic. 🤕📈

In a spectacle mimicking its cousins Bitcoin and Ethereum, the XRP price maintained its composure above the venerable $2.00 haven, embarking on a recovery wave that soared with youthful vigor above $2.050 and $2.10. It found its footing across the storied 61.8% Fib retracement level, stretching ambitiously from the $2.2750 zenith to the $1.9844 trough.

CryptoQuant highlights in its most recent weekly report that Michael Saylor’s bitcoin treasury company is undergoing a structural pivot from aggressive BTC accumulation to balance-sheet protection, highlighted by a separate USD reserve and language acknowledging the option to hedge or even sell in stressed conditions. Because nothing says “trust us” like “we might sell if things go sideways.” 🤝

Analyst Shanaka Anslem Perera remarked this was “foundational change,” as if anyone ever needed “foundational” to be a verb. Suddenly, banks became crypto-loving parents, offering new toys (structured notes, ETFs), safety nets (bureaucratic frameworks), and a stern lecture on volatility. Bitcoin, once the rogue teen, got enrolled in a Montessori school for asset managers. 🏫

This legislative masterpiece does more than merely refine legal jargon; it is a grand gesture, a sweeping declaration that the digital realm shall no longer be treated as a bastard child of the law. 🌐 English law, with its penchant for categorizing the uncategorizable, now embraces emerging technologies with open arms-or so we are led to believe. Ownership rights shall be clearer, disputes shall be smoother, and institutions shall flock like pigeons to Trafalgar Square. How quaint! 🐦

It sounds about as exciting as watching paint dry, until you realize it’s like turning on a light in a room full of very confused digital squirrels. Suddenly, crypto isn’t just a weird experiment that some suits are playing with-they’re good enough to argue about in court. Fancy that! 🏛️

The air grows thin for sellers, their tokens dwindling like snowflakes in a furnace. Traders, ever the vultures, circle, sensing the tightening noose of supply. Demand, that fickle mistress, begins her dance, whispering promises of stability in SHIB’s ear. 🕊️💸