Having scampered back to its yearly open like a repentant schoolboy, Bitcoin has “broken an aggressive downtrend,” according to Mayne. But the real test? A daily downtrend line, because nothing says excitement like geometric shapes dictating financial fate. 📉🎨
Onchain activity, once a roaring river, now trickled like a timid brook, while DEX volume slumped into the arms of apathy. Thus, the $1,000 mark fell, a casualty of indifference. 😴
December 8-the day when Midnight, Cardano’s fancy new zero-knowledge sidechain, finally prances onto the stage, waving its privacy tools and scalability magic. Think of it as Cardano’s secret spy gadget; silent, invisible, but oh-so-powerful. The network had a boost earlier this week with NIGHT, a shiny new native token, adding a sprinkle of pixie dust and excitement to the ecosystem-because nothing says ‘we’re serious’ like a brand new token to clutter your wallet. 😎✨
Of seven solana (SOL) ETFs, the pack has siphoned $618.62 million since their debut, now commanding 1.15% of solana’s market valuation-a feast for the hungry. Meanwhile, XRP, with four ETFs, has drawn $874.28 million, a rival in the shadows. The Canary-run XRPC ETF, a lion in the grass, has gobbled $357 million, while Grayscale’s GXRP roars with $50.27 million in yesterday’s feast.
Another bitcoin-focused DAT has topped up its holdings, as the Nasdaq-listed American Bitcoin (ABTC) revealed on social media that its reserves now stand at 4,367 BTC – about $404 million based on exchange rates on Dec. 4, 2025. One might say, “How poetic! While the stock flounders, the coins multiply like a Dostoevskian fever dream.” 🧠💥
Imaginez la scène : le vieux lion Schwab, tout d’un coup, ouvre grand les yeux et dit : « Pourquoi pas une petite acquisition crypto ? » Ah, la douce folie de la finance classique qui lorgne vers la toile numérique. Et pendant ce temps, Binance, le géant à la coqueluche, nomme Yi He comme co-CEO, comme si la reine d’Angleterre décidait de partager sa couronne avec une domestique. On est à deux doigts du spectacle ! 👑🤹♂️
Behold, the union of traditional finance and digital chaos! They claim it’s to “bridge” the gap, but really, it’s just a fancy way of saying, “Let’s monetize each other’s chaos!” 🤝💸
Lo, Solana strives to transform $140 from foe to friend, yet the $144 summit remains a stubborn wall, tested thrice in a month! Since mid-November, this coin hath danced betwixt $120 and $144, a waltz of weakness amidst tempestuous tides. A mere mortal would weep at such indecision.
Abu Dhabi-focused Solana infrastructure firm Solmate (SLMT) has signed a non-binding term sheet to acquire digital asset firm RockawayX in an all-stock deal that would create an institutional crypto group with more than $2 billion in assets and third-party stake. Because why not? 🤝
The Big Switcheroo