AI Crypto Crashes: Is Your Digital Wallet as Depressed as You?

Artificial intelligence (AI) tokens-the crypto world’s attempt to marry blockchain with sentient machines-are currently performing like a breakup playlist at a wedding. 🤖💔 Every major project’s numbers look like my bank account after Black Friday: down, down, and down some more. Sure, bitcoin crawled back to $91K like a cocky ex who thinks they’re still welcome, but the AI crew? Still licking their wounds in the red zone.

Is Chainlink Rallying Back with a Vengeance? 🚀

Chainlink Price Chart

Can you believe it? This cryptic chart whisperer managed to pull off a marvelous falling wedge pattern on the daily chart. Bravo! Also, the Grayscale LINK ETF might as well buy a yacht at its current $48 million stash of assets. Meanwhile, the Strategic LINK Reserves look like a well-stocked pantry with over a million tokens. 😂

Ether: A Panic in the Vaults?! 😱

Observe! The holdings of Ether, that volatile spirit, have dwindled to a mere 8.7% (a trifle, I assure you!) as of Thursday last. And scarcely improved upon, remaining at 8.8% come Sunday, if we are to believe the pronouncements of Glassnode. A most alarming diminution!