Cryptonews

Laser’s CEO, Jez Mohideen-a name that rolls off the tongue like a poorly translated haiku-proclaimed to Bloomberg that this move is a testament to their faith in Japan’s digital asset scene. Faith, you say? Or is it desperation cloaked in the silk of optimism? After all, Laser, born in 2022, already boasts a crypto license from Dubai, a city where even the sand is gilded. Yet, here they are, bowing to Tokyo’s bureaucrats. 🧑‍💼🙇‍♂️

Yet, in this comedy of currencies, optimism blooms like a particularly ornate flower among the bullish sages, who espy a continuation in this endless cycle of greed and glory. Bolstered by the renewed affections of institutions and their torrents of cash into Bitcoin’s coffers, top analyst Maartunn, that oracle of absurdity, hath proclaimed the secret elixir: Spot Bitcoin ETFs! How droll, these financial marionettes pulling at the strings, weaving demand with volumes untold. 🙃

To sweeten the deal (or perhaps lure you into a trap of convenience), Samsung Wallet is handing out a free 3-month Coinbase One membership. Enjoy zero trading fees and “boosted rewards” while you ponder whether this is the future or a very expensive toaster. The partnership’s goal? To make crypto feel less like a gamble and more like a utility-assuming you’re okay with your phone knowing where you’re spending your life savings. 💳

Ethereum (ETH) tried to play the cool kid, hitting $4,547 but couldn’t keep up. Ripple (XRP) and Solana (SOL) are the party animals, while Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA) are the ones crying in the corner. Stellar (XLM) is the weird friend who’s just happy to be here. 🌟

Sure, if you ignore the 800-pound gorilla in the room named “Profit-Taking.” But hey, maybe this time it’s different! 🙃

If this whisper proves true, the altcoin market cap could rise to 4.37 trillion dollars, a ascent nearly 290% higher than today. One might say the numbers behave like gossip that refuses to stay silent. 😅💹

According to CertiK, the numbers dropped from $803 million to $509 million-like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat, only to realize it was a very confused hamster. 🐇 The Q1 losses? A staggering $1.7 billion, which is roughly the GDP of a small island nation. 🏝️

In a world where financial institutions occasionally remember what day it is, Laser Digital-a subsidiary of the Nomura Group-has apparently decided to join the crypto circus in Japan, as reported by Bloomberg. The Switzerland-based unit is currently whispering sweet nothings to Japan’s Financial Services Agency (FSA), the bureaucratic labyrinth of the digital asset universe, to secure a license for institutional clients. According to CEO Jez Mohideen, this move is a “vote of confidence” in Japan’s digital-asset ecosystem. Or as he might’ve said in a meeting: “We’re not here to disrupt anything. Just… mildly confuse it.”

Uncertainty clings to the U.S. economy like a bad cologne, while traders navigate a rollercoaster of federal shutdowns and blind optimism. Volatility? Oh, it’s the main course! 🎢

State Senator Liz Krueger and Assemblymember Anna Kelles rolled the idea out on October 1, a bill that would tax mining outfits by the year’s tally of power. The money would slip into the state’s Energy Affordability Programs, meant to ease the weight on households and small businesses that already breathe through straw-thin budgets. A measure born of electricity and stubborn resolve, with perhaps a hint of sarcasm from the weathered gentleman in the corner store.