Earlier this week, they dropped a cool $44 million on 10,000 ETH, which is basically the financial equivalent of saying, “Yeah, we’re serious about this crypto thing.” But according to Caixin, they’re not done yet. BTC and SOL are next on the menu, because apparently Yunfeng is determined to make fiat currencies cry in a corner. 😭💸
Once, oh how glorious it was, supporting 52 well-to-do cold wallets, brimming with as much as 26.8 million XRP apiece. Alas, the grand scheme has folded into ten well-mannered executors, each harboring about 16.5 million coins. My word, what a sight! Such conservative complicity is delightful.
Behold, Matt Poblocki, general purveyor of Binance’s Australian and New Zealand escapades, took to the stage-or should we say, the virtual script of CryptoMoon-to lament: “Seamless access,” he proclaimed, “affects participation, instilling confidence and office-worthy trust in the market. Yet, these barriers brood, stifling adoption and flowering growth!”
Enter OxPepesso, a self-proclaimed sage of the markets, who has taken to X (née Twitter) to declare his dramatic exit from the crypto stage by October. With all the flair of an actor in a Molière farce, he points to historical patterns as his guiding stars. Ah, but beware, dear investors, for the fabled “altcoin season” may be shorter than your patience for this charade!
The OIG’s account reveals that from the 18th of October, 2022, to the 6th of September, 2023, Mr. Gensler’s government-issued mobile ceased to synchronize with the SEC’s device management system. In a twist worthy of a Gothic novel, the SEC’s Office of Information Technology (OIT) erroneously marked the phone as inactive, leading to an automatic wipe. In a misguided effort to revive the device, the staff performed a factory reset, thus erasing all text messages and operational logs. The OIG described these events as a series of “avoidable” errors, exacerbated by the absence of backups. 📲💥
Everyone’s rushing to government bonds and gold, clearly panicking about recession-poor Bitcoin can’t catch a break.
This gambit positions Fireblocks at the epicenter of what it insists will be 2025’s fastest-growing segment: enterprise-grade stablecoin settlements. One wonders if they’ve mistaken themselves for the Bright Young Things of the financial world, though their ambitions are as grand as any socialite’s.
Meanwhile, Nasdaq, the gatekeeper of tradition, has thrown its weight around like a bull in a china shop, scrutinizing digital asset treasury firms. Strategy’s stock took a tumble, as if mocked by the very institutions it hopes to charm. Tradition, it seems, is a stubborn beast. 🐂
Enter Darkfost, the Gandalf of crypto analysts, who has spotted something peculiar brewing on Binance. The BTC/Stablecoin reserves ratio-a metric so arcane it might as well require a secret handshake-is inching toward levels that historically scream “BUY NOW OR REGRET IT FOREVER.” This rare signal has only appeared twice since the last bear market, and the last time it did, Bitcoin dropped to $78,000 before launching itself into stratospheric glory. So, is history about to rhyme? Or is this just another cosmic prank played by the markets? 🌌
Bitcoin slipped again on Thursday, source: BNC
