Trump’s Fed Chair Pick: Bitcoin’s New Best Mate?

“Bitcoin will replace gold,” he declared in a CNBC interview, “because it’s so much more functional than passing a bar of gold around.” Oh, the horror of such practicality! And recently, he added, “Bitcoin and gold are like the sensible socks in your investment drawer-they give you a bit of ballast.” Charming, isn’t he?

HYPE’s Wild Ride: Silver Linings and Falling Wedges

According to the scribes at crypto.news, Hyperliquid (HYPE) vaulted to a three-week pinnacle of $27 on Tuesday, during the quiet hours of Asian afternoon. At this height, it stands 31% above its weekly nadir, a testament to its resilience in the face of market whims.

They Bought More Bitcoin-Again. What Could Go Wrong?

In a move as predictable as dawn after a sleepless night, the prophet of hodling, Michael Saylor (Chairman, co-founder, and unofficial high priest of BTC alchemy), announced on X-formerly known as the town square-to the trembling masses: another acquisition has been completed. 2,932 tokens, acquired at an average of $90,061 each, slipped quietly into the company’s ever-expanding digital vault between January 20th and 25th. Funded, of course, not by toil or product innovation, but by the celestial mechanics of stock offerings-STRC and MSTR at-the-market programs fluttering like moths around the flame of market sentiment.

Hyperliquid’s Triumph: A Tale of Liquidity, Lunacy, and 20% HYPE

Ah, Hyperliquid, that quiet achiever, has become the most liquid platform for crypto price discovery. Founder Jeff, in a moment of unparalleled modesty, marked this milestone with a tweet in 2026, presenting a side-by-side comparison of Bitcoin perpetual liquidity on Binance and Hyperliquid. How quaint.

Dormant Approval Sparks $13.3M Ethereum Heist

The wallet drama begins with a touch of bureaucratic sleepiness: a token approval, long forgotten, shrugged off its responsibilities until an attacker found it and proposed a sudden, extremely efficient heist. The funds arrived through an account abstraction transaction, and the trespasser moved with the punctuality of a clerk who actually enjoys their job.

Ethereum’s Price Plays The Fool: A $3K Resistance Drama Unfolds

Ethereum’s price, like a poorly written sonnet, failed to clasp $2,920’s elegance and tumbled sideways into the abyss. Bitcoin wept, and Ether followed suit, descending beneath $2,860 as if choreographed by the grim reaper. A brief flirtation with $2,780 ensued, the kind of self-destruction one might expect from a byronic hero.