Markets
What to know (or not bother):
- Strategy raised €620 million ($715 million) selling 7.75 million shares of “10% Series A Perpetual Stream Preferred Stock” (fancy wallpaper for debt) at €80 per share. Settlement? November 13. Surprise, surprise.
- STRE, the “stream” stock, is their new European vacation home. Because why not? The eurozone’s been dying for more corporate opera.
- MSTR’s common shares? Down 5% today. Bitcoin? Back to $100k. The plot thickens like expired yogurt. 🫠
Michael Saylor and his merry band of alchemists have officially fluttered their wings to Europe, seeking fresh pastures to graze upon in their eternal quest for… you guessed it… more bitcoin. 🐈⬛
The largest publicly traded bitcoin vault (née “company”) has priced its IPO of 7.75 million shares of “10% Series A Perpetual Stream Preferred Stock” (STRE) at €80 per share. Because nothing says “financial innovation” like a Latin abbreviation that sounds like a sneeze. 🤧
Closing November 13, this sale will “generate” (read: conjure) €620 million ($715 million) to fuel their bitcoin hoard. The STRE stock, by the way, offers a 10% annual dividend on its €100 stated value. Quarterly payouts start December 31-if the board feels like it. Miss a payment? Accrue interest at 11%, rising 1% each quarter until it hits 18%. A little interest party 🎉 for the patient.
Strategy currently holds 641,205 bitcoin worth $64.1 billion (at $100k per BTC). But here’s the kicker: their common stock premium is evaporating faster than a puddle in the Sahara. Bitcoin’s price? Volatile. Investor confidence? A ghost town. MSTR shares are down 50% since their 2025 peak. Who’s counting? 🤷♂️
In this tragicomedy, preferred shares are the new black. Why sell common stock when you can dress debt as dividends and call it “strategy”? Genius. Or madness? Tune in next week. 🎭
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2025-11-07 17:51