Buffett’s Billion-Dollar Balloon Ride and the Snarky Satellite King

For six decades, the cunning old fox of Omaha has been outwitting Wall Street’s number-crunching goblins. His name? Warren Buffett. His weapon? A ledger book and a glint in his eye. By midday on Sept. 26, he’d conjured a return for Berkshire Hathaway’s Class A shares that reads like a fairy tale: 6,080,000%. A number so fat it makes the S&P 500 weep into its teacup. Thirteen-hundred-and-seven times richer, if you please.

Buffett’s annualized 20% return has gathered followers like moths to a financial mothball. They trail him with Form 13F filings, those gossipy little scrolls that spill secrets about stocks and ETFs. And Form 4s, which shout when billionaires nibble their own shares. It’s a game of hide-and-seek with money, played in a language only the rich understand.

A 13F is a beast that must be fed every 45 days by any institution with $100 million in assets. It’s a ledger of who’s hoarding which shiny trinkets-stocks, ETFs, even options. A Form 4 is for directors and executives, those who dance with shares and must report their steps to the SEC within two days. It’s like a diary, but with more numbers and fewer confessions.

These filings reveal a curious tale: Buffett has been a persistent seller of Bank of America (BAC) over the last year, while secretly hoarding shares of a legal monopoly with a grin as wide as a satellite dish. The villain? BofA. The hero? A giggling gremlin named Sirius XM.

Buffett’s Dragon Spits Out 427 Million Shares of Bank of America

Buffett, the old fox, knows banks like a baker knows dough. He’s seen them rise and fall with the economy’s heartbeat. But lately, his dragon has been spitting out Bank of America shares like a grumpy old man with a mouthful of marbles. Since July 17, 2024, his position has shrunk by 41%, a number so large it makes your head wobble like jelly in a blender.

Why the dragon’s grumpiness? Perhaps he’s scooping up shiny coins from the Fed’s rate-hiking spree, which made BofA’s piggy bank swell. But dragons are fickle. When the Fed’s pendulum swings, BofA’s interest income might crumble like a biscuit in the rain. Still, the central bank’s methodical pace is like a sleepy tortoise-predictable, but not always kind to the banks.

Another grumble in the dragon’s belly: BofA’s stock is no longer a bargain. In 2011, it traded at a 62% discount to book value. Now? A 41% premium. Buffett, who once called BofA “a pig in a poke,” might be muttering about overpriced trinkets.

The Gremlin Grins as Buffett Hoards Satellite Shares

While Buffett’s dragon grumbles, his gremlin side is giggling. Enter Sirius XM (SIRI), the satellite-radio king with a crown made of subscriptions. Since September 2024, Berkshire’s stake has ballooned to 37%, a number so juicy it makes the stock market blush.

Sirius XM is a cash-coated grump. It earns 77% of its money from subscriptions, not ads. That means even when the economy wobbles, people keep paying for their satellite tunes. It’s like a subscription to sunshine, no matter the weather. And with a dividend yield of 5%, it’s a grumpy old man who still tips his hat to the shareholders.

Buffett’s love for Sirius XM is no accident. It’s a business with a moat so deep, even the fiercest goblins can’t breach it. The only holder of satellite licenses, it’s a monopoly with a grin and a grumble. And at 7.4 times forward earnings, it’s a bargain even for a miserly goblin.

So what’s next? The dragon may keep spitting out BofA shares, but the gremlin will hoard more satellites. Buffett, the old fox, is playing a game of chess with the market. And we, the pawns, can only watch and wonder. 🐾

2025-10-01 10:21

Buffett’s Dragon Spits Out 427 Million Shares of Bank of America

The Gremlin Grins as Buffett Hoards Satellite Shares

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