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Coinbase Freezes? 82% Less Icy! 🧊📉
Ah, Coinbase… that modern marvel, that digital fortress of coin! Its chieftain, Brian Armstrong, a man of vision (or so they say 😉), has declared that the great frost of account freezing, a matter most grave, has indeed troubled his domain for far too long.
From the digital scrolls of platform X, Armstrong doth proclaim that the fixing of these most unwarranted freezes has become a priority, a task to which they have turned their weary eyes. One might jest that it took them long enough, eh? 🕰️
“Account freezing,” he laments, “has been a major issue at Coinbase for longer than is acceptable.” One shudders to think of the reasons, the bureaucratic tangles, the sheer… inefficiency! But fear not, dear reader, for progress is afoot!
“The issue has been reduced by 82% so far, with more improvements coming.” A bold claim! One can only hope it is not merely the bluster of a man caught in the winter’s chill. We shall see, shall we not? 🤔
Armstrong, in his magnanimity, also promises swifter replies to those poor souls whose accounts remain in the icy grip of restriction.
“If your account is still restricted (not for sanctioned or illegal activity) please direct message @coinbasesupport and we’ll prioritize getting it looked at ASAP.” A direct message! How modern, how… impersonal. But perhaps effective? One can only dream of a world where such matters are handled with a touch more grace. 🕊️
He bestows accolades upon one Dor Levi, a new member of the product team, hired in April, for this supposed triumph. A scapegoat, perhaps? No, no, let us be charitable. A hero, then! 🦸
Levi speaks:
“If you’re on CT (crypto Twitter), you know how significant this issue has been for users. I myself am a Coinbase user, and our restriction experience is not meeting my own bar.” A man of the people! Or at least, a man who uses the product he helps to govern. A rare thing indeed! 😮
“The goal is clear: account freezes should be rare, limited to situations that warrant them, primarily when we’re legally obligated (e.g. sanctions or court orders) or protecting users (e.g. from scams or account compromises). We’re committed to getting this right.” Noble words, echoing through the digital ether. Let us hope they are more than mere vapor. 🙏
“Recent releases have enabled us to make huge improvements without sacrificing our legal and regulatory obligations or our commitment to safety.” So, the gears of progress grind on, slowly but surely. One hopes it is not all just smoke and mirrors. 💨
In short:
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2025-06-10 15:04