Breaking: Brazilian Bank Creates Crypto Unit, Appoints Former Hashdex Guru 😱

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Behold! Itaú Asset Management, the colossal asset manager of Brazil (and by “colossal,” we mean they manage over 1 trillion reais-yes, *trillion*), has taken a leap into the cryptoverse. They’ve conjured up a shiny new crypto division and, in true bureaucratic fashion, appointed João Marco Braga da Cunha-a former Hashdex wizard-to lead this peculiar endeavor. 🧙‍♂️✨

This isn’t their first rodeo with crypto, mind you. Oh no, they’ve already dabbled in Bitcoin ETFs and retirement funds that flirt with digital assets. But apparently, that wasn’t enough to satisfy their insatiable appetite for blockchain-based chaos. “Crypto is volatile,” says Cunha, as if stating the obvious wasn’t his entire job description. “It’s new, it’s wild, and it’s got alpha written all over it.” Well, thank you, Captain Obvious, for that riveting insight. 🚀💰

Meanwhile, back at Itaú HQ, the bank is already letting its app-wielding clients trade cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin, Ether, Solana, and USD Coin. Yes, you read that right-Solana. Because apparently, even blockchains need a middle child. The custody? Handled in-house, because why trust anyone else when you can do it yourself? 🏦📱

The new division promises to cook up even more crypto concoctions, from fixed-income-style instruments to high-volatility strategies involving derivatives and staking-based funds. All this will operate within the firm’s mutual funds structure, which oversees a staggering 117 billion reais across 15 investment desks. So, basically, they’re either geniuses or about to accidentally burn down the financial system. Place your bets! 🎲🔥

Brazil: The Galaxy’s Crypto Capital (Or So They Say) 🌎✨

Brazil, it seems, has decided to become the cool kid on the crypto block. Ranking 10th globally in Chainalysis’ “2024 Global Crypto Adoption Index,” the country has embraced digital assets like a long-lost relative at a family reunion. A supportive regulatory framework? Check. Comprehensive crypto laws? Double check. Central bank oversight? Triple check. It’s almost like they’ve been reading the rulebook instead of throwing it out the window. 📜⚖️

In December 2023, Itaú Unibanco launched crypto trading for retail clients, starting with Bitcoin and Ether. And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more exciting, February 2025 rolled around, bringing us Brazil’s first spot XRP ETF (courtesy of Hashdex) and a real-pegged stablecoin on Ripple’s XRP Ledger (thanks, Braza Bank). Truly, the future is now, old sport. 🎩📈

But wait, there’s a plot twist! In June, Brazil introduced a tax reform that slapped a flat 17.5% tax on all crypto capital gains. No exemptions, no mercy-just cold, hard taxation. Naturally, the internet collectively lost its mind, and the policy was revoked faster than you can say “HODL.” Ah, bureaucracy: always keeping us on our toes. 🤷‍♂️💸

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2025-09-05 23:18