Behold, dear spectators, the grand defense of the suitcoiners by one Eric Balchunas-a man who claims these silk-clad financiers are the very reason Bitcoin has ascended from the dusty pits of $20,000! 🎭 How poetic that the saviors of crypto are those who once sneered at it from their marble-boardroom thrones! 💸
A New Breed of Crypto Connoisseurs (Or, How the Suits Stole Christmas)
In this modern farce, “suitcoiners” are none other than the institutional titans-banks, asset managers, and compliance-obsessed entities-who sauntered into Bitcoin’s garden party post-ETF. They’re the bridge between crypto’s rebellious chaos and the stodgy world of “real” finance. 🌉
Lo! Since the ETF spectacle began in 2024, billions have poured in like a tidal wave. BlackRock’s IBIT alone has gobbled nearly $70 billion! One might mistake it for a feeding frenzy, were it not so… civilized. 🐬
Yet some grumble that these suits have tamed Bitcoin’s fiery spirit. Where are the libertarian pirates of old? Replaced by TradFi’s Jan van Ecks and BlackRock’s finest! A tragedy, or a masterstroke? 🎪
Meanwhile, the old guard-miners, offshore funds, and anonymous whale wallets-quietly sell their BTC hoards. But fret not! Institutional demand rises like a phoenix, smoothing Bitcoin’s once-wild swings. Volatility? Bah! We’re all about stability now. 🕊️
Of course, skeptics cry foul, eyeing BlackRock’s golden goose. Are ETFs a boon or a betrayal? The plot thickens, dear friends. 🎭
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2025-12-08 20:33