Bitcoin’s Dizzy Dance: A Dahl-esque Crash Trap Exposed!

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Bitcoin, that cheeky silver shilling, staged a modest recovery of nearly 2% during Monday’s Asian trading hours after it flirted with the dreaded $70,000 over the weekend. Yet the wise old market watchers, with eyebrows as arched as pickled herring, insist the mischief is far from finished.

Doctor Profit, for one, swears the thing is slipping into an endless sideways waltz-not a heroic bull-run, but a sly warm-up for a deeper tumble in the months ahead.

Sideways, Then Down

According to the analyst’s findings, Bitcoin is drawing a new trading “box” between roughly $57,000 and $87,000, a wide band of about 33%. He expects the price action to stay mostly inside these lines for weeks or even months, like a curious cat in a maze.

Doctor Profit says this sideways shuffle should not be mistaken for strength. It’s a structural phase that tends to lead to a breakdown in a broader bear market. He drew a cheeky parallel to 2024, noting BTC spent an entire year hopping between $58,000 and $74,000 before finally blasting above $100,000-but that was then, and this is now when the bear is wearing marching boots again, he warns that the next look-back will use that same range as a memory stone in the next bear lake.

That scene is unfolding once more: Bitcoin is playing in the same price zone, but this time the mood is bearish, where former calm zones become scaffolding rather than sturdy shelves. He expects that once the sideways jig ends, the crypto will slip below the box and head toward the $44,000-$50,000 region in the coming weeks or months.

Doctor Profit said he’s buying spot Bitcoin between $57,000 and $60,000, which he calls the local bottom of the current range-though not the grand macro bottom of the bear. He adds this area will be tested again and again during the sideways waltz, making it perfect for range-trade tricks, while any upside could stretch up to $87,000 if the market flexes its muscles.

But the boss at the top would like to remind you: $87,000 isn’t a guaranteed finish line; it’s the edge of the stage during this period. If the price nudges toward that mark, he says he’d consider adding to his existing short positions opened between $115,000 and $125,000, which he still clings to like a favorite teddy bear.

Meanwhile, there’s no grand downside peeking in while the market hacks its way along the range, according to Doctor Profit. He calls the upcoming stretch “long and boring,” while predicting the juiciest long-term buying will wait for much lower-between the low $50,000s and the low $40,000s-where he believes Bitcoin will bottom, possibly around September or October.

“We are in a bear market. The bounces are temporary and exist to build liquidity for further downside.”

No Relief for BTC Bulls

Another pseudonymous prophet, Filbfilb, posted a chart on X comparing the current scene with the 2022 bear, offering little cheer for bulls.

His graph shows BTC trading below the 50-week exponential moving average near $95,300-an important trend marker, according to him. Lose that line and the coin looks more bear than brat, according to the forecast.

Market watcher BitBull chimes in with a similar forecast, saying the “final capitulation hasn’t happened yet,” and that a real bottom will form below the $50,000 level, where many ETF buyers will be sighing underwater.

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2026-02-09 13:12