Bitcoin’s about to waltz into FOMC week with the grace of a drunk flamingo 🦜💥. Will it crash? Will it crypto? Only the Fed knows!
The market’s liquidity is weaker than a wet noodle 🍝, rate-cut expectations are as reliable as a politician’s promise, and a new macro driver has become Bitcoin’s strongest ally… or its worst enemy? 🧠🔥
Miners are stressing harder than a gym bro at a vegan buffet 🏋️♂️🥬, and the numbers are slower than a sloth on a treadmill. This market is on the edge of a cliff… or a major inflection point. 🪜✨
FOMC Week: The Ultimate Crypto Rollercoaster! 🎢💸
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2025-12-08 11:06