Bitcoin’s Bear Market: Because Who Needs Money Anyway? 🐻💸

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So, Tony Severino, the guy who probably has charts for breakfast, is out here warning everyone that Bitcoin/VIX isn’t the golden ticket to Lambo-land. 🚗💨 Nope, he’s saying it’s more like a one-way ticket to Bear Market Boulevard. 🐻📉 But hey, the month’s not over yet, so maybe Bitcoin will pull a Cinderella and turn bullish by midnight. 🕰️✨

In a post on X (formerly Twitter, because Elon loves rebrands), Severino basically said, “Don’t believe the hype, folks.” He’s all like, “These signals? Classic bear market vibes.” But he’s also hedging his bets because, you know, crypto is as predictable as a cat on catnip. 🐱💊

Severino’s been on this bear train for a while now, citing Elliott Wave theory and other fancy terms that make me feel like I should’ve paid more attention in math class. 📚🤯 He’s convinced Bitcoin has peaked this cycle, which is great news if you’re into disappointment. 🎉

But wait! Enter Saeed, the eternal optimist, who’s like, “Chill, it’s just a healthy retracement.” He’s eyeing $85,000 as the magic number Bitcoin needs to hit to make everyone forget about this whole bear market nonsense. 🎯📈

On the macro side, things are looking up (sort of). Inflation data came in lower than expected, which is like finding a $20 bill in your jeans—pleasant but not life-changing. 💵😅 The Fed might cut rates soon, and Boston Fed President Susan Collins is out here playing market therapist, ready to stabilize things if needed. 🛋️🧘‍♀️

And let’s not forget Trump’s tariffs, because nothing says “bullish for Bitcoin” like trade wars and economic uncertainty. 🇺🇸💣 More liquidity could flow into crypto, which is great if you’re into rollercoasters. 🎢

Meanwhile, Titan of Crypto is over here spotting inverse Head-and-Shoulders patterns like he’s reading tea leaves. 🍵🔮 If this pattern plays out, Bitcoin could hit $125,000 this year, which is basically the crypto equivalent of winning the lottery. 🎰💰

Rekt Capital (yes, that’s his name) is also throwing in his two cents, pointing out bullish divergences on the RSI. He’s like, “Every time this happens, Bitcoin rallies.” So, basically, history is repeating itself, and we’re all just along for the ride. 🚂🎢

As of now, Bitcoin is trading at around $83,400, up 3% in the last 24 hours. So, it’s not all doom and gloom—just mostly. 🌧️🌈

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2025-04-13 07:35