Bitcoin’s August Doom: Seriously?! 🙄

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So, Bitcoin is at $114,000? Okay, fine. It’s going up a little. A little! Like, barely noticeable. And the “Fear & Greed Index” is “neutral”? What does that *even* mean? Is that good? Bad? It’s just…neutral. It’s infuriatingly neutral. 😤

And then you got this Kiyosaki guy. Robert Kiyosaki. Big author, apparently. He’s *hoping* Bitcoin crashes? Hopes it! Below $90,000? He wants it to go *down* so he can buy more! It’s like he’s deliberately trying to mess with people. Like, “Oh, I’ll just sit here, waiting for the apocalypse so I can get a good deal.” It’s… it’s just wrong. It’s fundamentally wrong.

“If the Bitcoin August Curse hits and Bitcoin crashes, I stand ready to 2x my position today.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Oh, and the “real problem” is America’s debt. Of course it is. It’s *always* America’s debt. That’s always their fallback. “It’s not Bitcoin, it’s *everything else*!” Like, just own it, Kiyosaki! You want cheaper Bitcoin, just say it! Don’t blame the Fed and the Treasury. It’s just… tedious.

How Was August For Bitcoin? Historical Analysis

August and September are historically the worst months for $BTC.

In eight of the past 12 years, $BTC prices have fallen in August and September, with a 67% probability of decline.

— Lookonchain (@lookonchain) August 1, 2025

So, eight out of twelve years, it goes down in August? That’s… that’s supposed to be statistically significant? I mean, it’s *something,* I guess. It’s like flipping a coin. Eventually, it’ll land on tails a few times. And the average return is +1.48%? That’s it? I spend more than that on coffee in a week!

“Traders are questioning if August 2025 will continue the trend?” Seriously? They’re questioning?! It’s August! It’s *always* a disaster! It’s practically a law of nature at this point!

Key Economic Events Could Fuel the BTC Price Drop

Okay, now we’re getting into the weeds. Jobless claims, ISM services PMI, labor costs… Who cares?! It’s all just noise! It’s designed to confuse you. Blah, blah, blah. And the Fed? They’ll do whatever they want, regardless! They always do. Raphael Bostic hinting at one rate cut? Oh, wonderful. That’s exactly what we needed to hear. More ambiguity. 🙄

10x Research Sees a ‘Hidden Catalyst’

A “hidden catalyst”? Oh, now there’s a hidden catalyst? Seriously? It’s like they’re trying to invent drama. They’re saying it’s like last year? Parallels? It’s all just speculation! And people are “eyeing a ‘buy the dip’ opportunity?” These people… they never learn. “Flush out weak hands”?! It’s so brutal!

Look, it’s Bitcoin. It could go up, it could go down. It’s probably going to do something frustrating and unpredictable, just to mess with all of us. That’s what it *does*.

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2025-08-04 12:53