Bitcoin’s $80,000 December Dream: Is It a Crypto Christmas Miracle or a Nightmare?

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Ah, the holiday season is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than by diving straight into the world of crypto madness? The high-profile crypto trader, Ansem, has decided to spice things up in a December market that already feels like a pressure cooker, offering his prediction: Bitcoin could be cruising back to $80,000 before the year ends. No softening words, no sugarcoating – just a cold, hard, one-hour chart.

And, oh, what a chart it is. Ansem’s analysis presents this move as a “natural checkpoint,” which, in layman’s terms, means, “Don’t panic, folks, we’ve been here before.” After all, Bitcoin’s been wobbling like a drunken uncle at a wedding since it got rejected at $93,000 earlier this week. 🥴

But wait, there’s more! The quarterly returns chart is a real page-turner. It seems that Q4 is like a rollercoaster ride: it can swing from roaring highs to crashing lows, depending on who’s driving the bus. Last year, Bitcoin wrapped up Q4 with a solid 47.6%, and the year before that, a mere 5.6%. And now, as 2025 saunters in like a tired uncle on New Year’s Eve, it’s sitting at a lovely -22%. Looks like seasonality is no friend of the crypto world, and when the bulls lose their steam, well, let’s just say a “retail apocalypse” is often right around the corner. 📉

gut says retest of $80k in December

– Ansem (@blknoiz06) December 6, 2025

If Bitcoin continues its descent below the $89,000 mark, brace yourselves: the market may have to dig even deeper into the liquidity abyss. And where does it find solace? The good ol’ $80,000 mark, of course. It’s the first spot with actual historical relevance, or as Ansem likes to call it: “the one place the market’s willing to take a breather.” For bulls, this dip isn’t the end – just a well-needed pit stop. For bears, it’s game over. December’s not about reaching new highs – it’s about cleaning out the cobwebs and making room for the next big thing. 🐻

Is this the bear market we’ve all been waiting for?

So, is it time to admit that we’re in a bear market, or is that just wishful thinking? Well, as Ansem throws his $80,000 prediction into the mix, it’s clear that people are still debating the inevitable. This fall (2025, that is) looks strangely like fall 2021 – remember when crypto crashed ahead of equities? The S&P 500 kept climbing, and crypto decided it was done with the party early. A wild déjà vu moment, right?

Fast forward to today: the macro conditions are reversed. No more tightening; now we’ve got easing, cooling inflation, and slower policy pressure. Is this the setup for a “cold shower” moment at the December FOMC meeting? Well, if you believe in signs, Bitcoin’s potential $80,000 retest fits perfectly within the anticipated volatility corridor for December. Or maybe it’s just a cruel joke. Only time will tell. 🕰️

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2025-12-07 19:42