Bitcoin vs. Trade Wars: The Epic Showdown You Didn’t Know You Needed! 🚀💰

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In a universe not so far away, Bitcoin bulls are valiantly defending the sacred $80K support level, while the chaotic cacophony of trade wars rages on like a particularly messy intergalactic food fight. As the US stock market plummets faster than a Vogon poetry reading, Bitcoin (BTC) manages to hold its ground above the mystical $82,000 threshold. Who knew digital currency could be so resilient?

Meanwhile, US stocks are experiencing record losses, and analysts are predicting a “long trade war” that could make even the most patient of beings roll their eyes. Data from CryptoMoon Markets Pro and TradingView reveals that Bitcoin’s daily high of nearly $84,700 vanished quicker than a towel in a hitchhiker’s backpack, as BTC took a nosedive of $2,500 right at the start of the US trading session. Talk about a dramatic entrance!

With fears of a prolonged trade war looming like a dark cloud over a picnic, the S&P 500 and Nasdaq Composite Index both took a dive of 3.5% after the opening bell. The Kobeissi Letter, a trading resource that sounds like it could be a character from a sci-fi novel, described the tariffs as the beginning of the “World War 3” of trade wars. Because, of course, we needed another world war to spice things up!

In a shocking twist, President Trump declared, “WE CAN’T LOSE!!!” as if he were rallying troops for a game of intergalactic chess. The S&P 500’s two-day losses have now surpassed -8%, totaling a staggering -$3.5 trillion in market cap. That’s right, folks, the largest two-day drop since the pandemic of 2020. Who knew the stock market could be so dramatic?

In a bizarre turn of events, the Nasdaq 100 made history by recording its biggest single-day points loss ever. Meanwhile, the latest US jobs data, which was supposed to be the star of the show, faded into insignificance faster than a shooting star. Market expectations for interest rate cuts from the Federal Reserve are now higher than a hyperactive Zaphod Beeblebrox at a party, with odds hitting 40% for the Fed’s May meeting.

But fear not, dear reader! Bitcoin clings to its support above $80,000 like a cat to a sunbeam. Market commentators are on the lookout for signs of BTC’s underlying strength. Popular trader and analyst Rekt Capital is optimistic, suggesting that Bitcoin is on the verge of filling a recently formed CME Gap. “Double bottom on the price action while the RSI develops Higher Lows,” he muses, as if he were deciphering the secrets of the universe.

Fellow trader Cas Abbe also notes that Bitcoin has shown remarkable resilience amidst the stock market’s dramatic meltdown. “It didn’t hit a new low yesterday despite the stock market having its worst day in 5 years,” he quips, as if he were narrating a thrilling space opera. Historically, BTC tends to bottom out before the stock market, so he’s now waiting for a reclaim above the $86.5K level for more upward continuation. Fingers crossed!

Earlier, CryptoMoon reported that BTC price bottom targets now include the old all-time highs of $69,000 from 2021. Because why not aim for the stars when you can shoot for the moon?

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2025-04-04 17:44