Bitcoin to Hit $60,000? Analyst Predicts EPIC Crash – Your Wallet May Want to Sit Down 💥

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Picture this: you’re relaxing, sipping your coffee, minding your own business, and BAM—crypto analyst Xanrox shows up on TradingView yelling, “The bull market’s done, folks! Pack up your moon boots!” The guy claims Bitcoin’s about to nosedive to $60,000. That’s right. One minute you’re Hodling, the next you’re HODL-ing on for dear life as Bitcoin allegedly turns into a very expensive rollercoaster. 🎢

Xanrox: Bitcoin Will Shoot to $122,000, Then Do a Swan Dive to $60,000 🤹

The mighty Bitcoin has been flirting around that $118,000 mark for days like it just can’t make up its mind. Up? Down? Sideways? Does Bitcoin need therapy? Meanwhile, everyone’s smiling, the fear and greed index is basically foaming at the mouth, and analysts are posting bullish memes faster than Bitcoin makes millionaires. Enter Xanrox, professional party pooper. His chart skills say, “Maybe you put that champagne back on ice, pal.” 🥂🚫

According to the script written by the gods of Fibonacci and the ghost of the 2017–2021–2025 trendline, Xanrox sees a weekly “sell” everyone’s pretending not to notice. Bitcoin’s all-time high at $122,800? Xanrox says that’s not the top, that’s the ceiling fan you crash into on your way back down. Oh, and if you speak fluent Elliott Wave (as most comedians do), congrats: the fifth wave has entered the chat, and it’s bringing a “corrective phase” with it, whatever that means. It can’t be good for the disco, folks. 🕺

So What Now, Folks? Is It Time to Cry or Buy? 🤔

You wanted drama, you got it. The next “big move,” according to Xanrox and his Magic 8-Ball, is a Titanic-style drop to $60,000 by 2026. In the past, when Bitcoin tapped this trendline, it nose-dived 84% and 77%. Long story short: protect your neck—and probably your portfolio.

Historically, August and September are about as friendly to crypto as Mel Brooks is to subtlety. Xanrox thinks the top is already in and warns everyone to keep an eye on the mystical moving averages: 20, 50, 100, and 200. Why? Because hedge funds and whales love round numbers, and, you know, lines on a graph.

Not everyone’s buying the doom and gloom. The optimists say, “Relax, honey. Bitcoin’s just getting ready for round two.” It’s still steady around $118,000, there’s barely a seller in sight, and Ethereum’s feeling bullish too. If you believe the hype, Bitcoin’s about to head for $130,000 and everyone who thought they missed the boat will be swimming after it. 🚤💸

So, buy, sell, or just sit back and watch the chaos with a big bowl of popcorn. Either way, Xanrox will be there to say, “Told you so!”—and we’ll all keep checking the chart like it’s the final score at Yankee Stadium. ⚾📉

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2025-07-31 22:23