Ah, Bitcoin-that fickle mistress of the digital age, dancing once more on the precipice of absurdity. In recent days, she has pirouetted past the $124,000 mark, reaching a new zenith of $124,128, according to the ever-watchful eyes at CoinGecko. Yet, as the masses marvel, a certain crypto soothsayer, known only as Stockmoney Lizards, emerges from the shadows, clutching charts and whispering of a destiny beyond $300,000 by 2026. 🦎✨
The Lizards Speak: A Channel of Fate
In a post on the digital agora of X, Stockmoney Lizards unveiled a macro chart-a tapestry of lines and oscillators-claiming Bitcoin’s path is as predictable as a Chekhovian protagonist’s downfall. Since 2012, our hero has climbed a rising parallel channel, its peaks kissing the upper resistance with the inevitability of a Russian winter. Now, it approaches the midline, a moment the Lizards deem “critical,” as if the currency itself were a character on the brink of self-realization. 🌊📈
The analyst, with a flourish of candlestick charts, predicts a repetition of history-impulsive waves to the upside, echoing the bull runs of 2018 and 2021. And lo, the oscillator bounces at the bottom, a spring in its step, just as it did before the rallies of yore. A base target of $180,000 to $200,000 by early 2026? Perhaps. But why stop there when $350,000 beckons like a distant mirage? 🌵💸
The Frenzy Phase: When Neighbors Ask
Yet, the Lizards caution-Bitcoin, once a wild colt, has matured. Its cycles are no longer perfect mirrors of the past. But fear not, for there remains room for the “my-neighbor-just-asked-me-about-Bitcoin” phase, that glorious frenzy of retail interest. It is in this moment, when the butcher and the baker and the candlestick maker all turn their gaze to the charts, that the parabolic surge shall occur. 🏦🤷♂️
Should this come to pass, the Lizards proclaim, $300,000 is but a waypoint, with $350,000 looming like a Chekhov’s gun, ready to fire. And why not? Bitcoin is already up 107% in the past year, buoyed by whispers of Federal Reserve rate cuts and regulatory nods. Another 145% to 188% increase by 2026? Stranger things have happened in this absurd world. 🌍💹
As of this writing, Bitcoin trades at $121,685, up 1.8% in the past 24 hours, having retraced 1.9% from its all-time high. A minor hiccup, or the pause before the storm? Only the Lizards know for sure. 🦎🌀
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2025-08-14 23:27