Bitcoin Bonanza: Galaxy Digital’s $31M Profit Sparks Crypto Chaos 🚀

Ah, the sweet smell of success-or is it just the aroma of roasted Bitcoin? Galaxy Digital has announced a net income of $30.7 million for Q2 2025, flipping a staggering $295 million loss from the previous quarter like a pancake. 🥞 Who says crypto isn’t a rollercoaster?

What’s behind this miraculous recovery, you ask? Gains in balance sheet holdings and a stellar performance by its global markets division, apparently. But let’s not forget the real star of the show: their Bitcoin stash. By the end of Q2, Galaxy was sitting pretty with 17,102 BTC (valued at $1.95 billion). That’s up from 13,704 BTC in Q1-a cheeky addition of 4,272 coins. Someone’s been busy stacking sats! 💰

And if Bitcoin wasn’t enough to make your eyes water, Galaxy’s total digital assets-including Ether (ETH), USDC, Solana (SOL), and XRP-reached a jaw-dropping $3.56 billion in carrying value. Bitcoin alone accounts for over half of these fair-value-measured riches. Truly, they’ve turned “HODL” into an art form. 🎨

But wait, there’s more! Adjusted EBITDA hit $211 million, thanks largely to treasury gains worth $228 million. Meanwhile, digital assets brought in $71.4 million in adjusted gross profit-a modest 10% bump-but expenses kept EBITDA flat at $13 million. Ah, the price of progress. Or maybe just office coffee? ☕️

Mike Novogratz, founder and CEO of Galaxy, couldn’t contain his excitement: “July was, by all accounts, the best month we had at Galaxy.” He added, “All our businesses are starting to fire on all cylinders.” Translation: buckle up, folks; it’s going to be a wild ride. 🚗💨

The standout performer? The Global Markets unit, which saw a 28% jump in adjusted gross profit despite a 22% drop in trading volume. How did they pull that off? Magic? A secret algorithm? No, just good old-fashioned margin lending, boosting the average loan book to $1.1 billion. 🔮

Not everything sparkled under the crypto sun, though. Asset management and infrastructure solutions took a 26% hit in profits due to slower onchain activity and shrinking staking rewards. Still, assets under management grew 27% to $9 billion. Call it the silver lining in a cloud of digital dust. ☁️✨

Operationally, Galaxy achieved some eyebrow-raising milestones. They sold over 80,000 BTC on behalf of a client-one of the largest deals of its kind. And their Helios data center campus is expanding faster than a meme coin pump, with CoreWeave gobbling up the full 800 megawatts of approved capacity. Talk about power moves! ⚡️

Oh, and let’s not forget: Galaxy began trading on Nasdaq under the ticker GLXY in May after a corporate reorganization. Because nothing screams legitimacy like a fancy stock ticker, right? 📈

In conclusion, dear reader, as Maxim Gorky might say-if he were alive and deeply invested in crypto-“Let us celebrate the triumph of capitalism’s latest child while keeping one eye on the exit.” After all, in the world of Bitcoin, fortunes rise and fall faster than a cat video goes viral. 🐱

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2025-08-05 16:58