Billion-Dollar Bitcoin Hoarders Just Got Some New Frenemies

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Well, well, well… Bitwise has added Fold Holdings and Bitdeer Technologies to its prestigious Bitcoin Standard Corporations Index (OWNB). You know, because heaven forbid they stay out of a club that’s already stacked with powerhouses like MicroStrategy (now rebrand-whatever-you-call-it ‘Strategy’) and Tesla—aka Elon Musk’s “crypto pet project.” And before you ask, yes, Michael Saylor is still hoarding Bitcoin like it’s Pokémon cards in the ’90s. 🤑

The Bitwise Bitcoin Corporation Index Fund

Breaking news from the land of crypto obsession: Bitwise just casually dropped this update on X (formerly Twitter) earlier today. Just two weeks after OWNB went live— clearly, patience isn’t a virtue for these guys. This fund flaunts a roster of companies snuggling Bitcoin as their teddy bear treasury asset. But don’t get too excited! The fund doesn’t exactly invest in Bitcoin directly; no, that’d be too obvious. Instead, it offers “exposure” to the coin through derivatives because apparently, we’re all just living in a financial game of Twister. 😒

The new ETF also plays favorites, automatically assigning 1.5% weighting to companies holding 1,000 BTC or more. Translation? Membership tiers exist. Can’t let Coinbase or Tesla mingle too closely with Cipher Mining’s single lonely Bitcoin.

The Composition of the Bitwise OWNB Index Fund

Oh, the roster—the crypto equivalent of high school cliques. Sitting at the cool kids’ table, we have Strategy, MARA Holdings (a mining geezer), Riot Platform, Tesla, and Cleanspark, to name a few. Strategy, led by Bitcoin’s biggest cheerleader Michael Saylor, is flexing its massive 506,137 BTC stack worth over $42 billion, because subtlety is for amateurs. Tesla’s comparatively humble stash? A mere 11,509 BTC. Cute. Coinbase: 6,885 BTC. Cipher Mining: 1.032 BTC—barely enough to need a wallet. 🙃

Let’s talk weightings because numbers are fun when they’re ridiculous. Strategy bags the fattest share at 22.64%, while MARA and Riot hover around 10%, probably staring longingly at Saylor’s mountain of Bitcoin and questioning their life choices.

Breaking news in the Bitcoin-zilla index!

The Bitwise Bitcoin Standard Corporations ETF $OWNB seeks to track companies like $MSTR, $MARA, and $TSLA holding over 1000 BTC just for fun. Constant reconstitution—fancy way to say “we shuffled the deck again.”

— Bitwise (@BitwiseInvest) March 25, 2025

Our wild card here is Japanese heavyweight Metaplanet, smugly sitting in fourth place with a solid 5% weighting. Between you and me, their 3.2% slice of total Bitcoin supply has probably made a few Wall Street types sweat through their suits. 💦

Market and the Crypto ETF Pursuit

Now onto the broader crypto world, where ETFs are multiplying faster than rabbits at a sugar party. Blame it on the Trump administration’s allegedly pro-crypto stance. (Someone get that man a Bitcoin tie, please.)

Bitwise, never one to sit out a crypto trend, has been schlepping S-1 registration filings to the SEC like someone pitching a startup at a brunch during consensus week. Their latest fling? A potential ETF for Aptos (APT), because apparently Bitcoin isn’t spicy enough anymore. 🤷‍♀️

Meanwhile, CBOE teamed up with Fidelity to file another S-1 registration, this time focused on a Solana ETF. Picture this: the SEC gently side-eyeing these filings while pretending they’re not slightly impressed. A tilt toward approval, maybe? Or just office banter over overpriced lattes?

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2025-03-25 22:27